I can't wait for Labor Day. I'm feeling too corporate lately. That Human Resources Department (apparently they weren't around in Caligula's day) makes me behave. I do plan to commit several Human Resource violations this weekend at the beach, but that's why it's Labor Day!
Speaking of labor, I saw an interesting survey from Zoosk that might provide solace for unemployed daters:
60% of women said that they'd date an unemployed guy, up from 52% in 2009; 90% of men said they'd date someone who was unemployed versus 92% in 2009.
"What do you do?" can make or break things, and always comes up in conversation when meeting someone.
Destiny's Child crooned:
"Can you pay my bills,
Can you pay my telephone bills,
Can you pay my automo'bills...
I don't think you do, so you and me are through."
I was "between jobs" for a while, doing promotions for Coca-Cola on a project basis. I would describe it as "marketing for Coke,"
dressing it up a bit and making it sound permanent.
Sometimes I'd respond with "absolutely nothing," trying to "own" my unemployment but, like most of my tactics, that didn't work either.
This was actually a conflict with another finding in the Zoosk survey:
83% of men and 93% of women agree that if someone is unemployed, they should reveal it right away.
My new favorite channel, Discovery ID, has a series called Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry, and many stories involve the groom faking income or a hard-core job to seduce the bride. So there's merit to that stat above.
There are a few reasons that "unemployment" can be damaging in the dating world:
Unemployment Has Negative Connotations
People associate employment with high intelligence and motivation. There are plenty of intelligent unemployed people, and I have a job even though I'm possibly the laziest person on earth — so these stereotypes are not true.
Anytime someone goes against the grain (society says we should work and contribute), there's going to be some alteration of perception of that person.
Having goals and aspirations is attractive — sometimes we look at a career as a tangible representation of that spirit.
How Can You Take Me on Dates with No Income?
A working guy seems more independent and able to afford to do a nice thing for a girl here and there. And people might feel guilty having an unemployed person taking them out and paying. Sadly, I just racked up the credit card when I went out with girls while I was unemployed — and that created more problems.
Sugar Mamas Are Rare
Not many women want to "take care" of a guy (helping me balance my checkbook and remember to call my mom on her birthday is another story).
What Will I Tell My Friends?
Some women might have anxiety telling their friends and family that their new boyfriend is unemployed.
So, why are more women willing to date an unemployed man in 2010?
One reason: He can give his girlfriend more attention (outside of his job search or whatever is going on). There are no late nights at the office, and no "business trips," or any forums to cheat. (It seems that many men find avenues to cheat through work.)
Also, we may be more understanding of an unemployed person's situation in a bad job market/economy.
Finally, society may be shifting from the old way (men as the breadwinners) to more balance — and/or women as the breadwinners. Trust me, I'm fully prepared for my future wife to outearn me, and I'm fine with it...as long as I get to watch the Ravens and play guitar.
I think working women are hot. Most of the women I meet in NYC have high aspirations, and the women in this city are serious and driven about their opportunities.
But, I have the utmost respect for my older sister, a stay-at-home mom with her two daughters — that daily routine is just as long and challenging as the professional routine.
I don't get hung up on "job status" — although I do admit some women (girls who work in music, writing, art, or in male-dominated fields like finance) are intriguing.
Ultimately, I want an intelligent girl, passionate about the things she loves, doing something with her life. There are many women who complain about work 24/7, casting a negative cloud — is a happy, unemployed girl chasing her "dream" more attractive?
There's much more to a person than what they do, but it is a significant part of the whole picture.
Would you date an unemployed guy? What are your thoughts on the above, and why do you think more women are willing to date unemployed men these days?
Follow me on Twitter: twitter.com/richravens
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