I recently came across an article that enlightened me (and scared me). The article argues that the influx of internet porn is causing men to lose their libidos and expect outlandish behavior in bed.
My porn habits have evolved throughout my illustrious masturbatory career. I went from scavenging 70's Playboys to videos — either certified straight up porn or late night Cinemax.
But then I discovered the internet. It's crazy that those same videos and magazines that I found so arousing no longer get me going. I need the internet — when I discuss it with my friends (yes, guys discuss masturbation with the ease and confidence that doctors discuss treatments for patients), I tout that I'm now "100% digital" (so Y2K). Most of my buddies consume pornography like I do. Print and TV are old school.
Taking into consideration my own experience and history with pornography, I agreed with many of the points the author made. Here are a few ways that pron has affected my love life:
Losing The Butterflies
Before the internet porn, a kiss would make my heart would race, my lips and body tingle, and I'd get butterflies in my stomach. Since changing my habits, I've lost that feeling: the newness of a real kiss. It has somehow muted my feelings. Since cutting back on the porn, those feelings are slowly coming back.
Setting High Standards
I'm conditioning myself to be pickier and pickier about subject matter. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for panda bears in tutus, but somewhere along the line in my single life, the scales were tipped and I trained my mind, body and spirit to seek virtual arousal.
Also, lots of masturbation makes it tougher for anyone other than myself to bring me to orgasm.
Wearing Me Out
Just like John Mayer (who is randomly my masturbatory kindred spirit), I spend too much time looking for just the right image or movie to get off to. The internet provides a dangerous amount of variety. Masturbating for so long (I'm usually doing it while I comb the internet) wears me out, so when the "real thing" comes along,I am often not up to snuff.
Relying On It As My "Old Friend"
When "the real thing" comes along, I'm still aroused, but I seem to be more comfortable when I'm alone. My "old friend" should be a girlfriend, not my computer.
For those of you who feel frustrated or inadequate don't blame yourselves. Internet porn is much more addicting than any other porn because of its availability and instant gratification. If porn magazines and videos are marijuana, internet porn is like a mixture of crack and heroin — it's an instant fix and it can destroy you.
Like the author of the New York Magazine article, I'm trying to cut back on internet porn, and it's making a difference.
What are your thoughts on this subject? Have you been concerned about your partner's activities online, and have you seen any changes in their sexual behavior?
