
The other day my buddy was telling me about his girlfriend's objections to himjoining his friends for a bachelor party (opens in new tab) because the itinerary included a strip club.
I understand her resistance to the idea.
But, there is another side to the argument, courtesy of a girl I dated. She said she didn't mind if I went to strip clubs because it's an emotionless experience — it's purely physical. (opens in new tab)
I thought this was an interesting point of view, and it made sense because women are in touch with the emotional side of attraction more than men are. When guys go to strip clubs to ogle "hot bodies," (opens in new tab) it's certainly annoying to their significant others.
But it's a different story if a guy has an emotional connection with another woman. I recently spoke to a friend who had a huge fight with her boyfriend because he met an ex for lunch. My friend had nothing to worry about because he's a faithful guy, but she was definitely stressed and upset about the whole thing. If she had her way, she wouldn't allow it to happen, but (to remain sane-looking) (opens in new tab) she let it happen. Of course, it was fine and life went on.
It's interesting that something as innocuous as a lunch with an ex could cause more stress than a visit with buddies to the strip club. One of them seems so dangerous, on the surface. But that's the point: strip clubs are all about surface. There's no depth. With an ex, there may be depth, and that's what seems so threatening to the present significant other. (opens in new tab)
From a guy's point of view, I'd feel awful if my significant other was lusting after some guy sexually (purely on a physical level). I'd feel equally as awful if she had an emotional connection with another guy. I'm wondering if women are more forgiving of a purely physical thing than they are of an emotional thing.
In a perfect world, I guess, a boyfriend would steer clear of strippers and exes. Unfortunately, the world is not perfect. (opens in new tab)
Which would annoy you more: your boyfriend seeing an ex for lunch/dinner or your boyfriend going to a strip club with his buddies? Do you buy the argument that an incident is not as bad as long as there's no emotion involved? What are your thoughts?
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