Hearing lore of dating disasters past makes me realize that I am, while stupid and ignorant, not a freak. Conversely, for those of you who read these tales, it helps remember that you are not the only one who has to put up with awful and psychotic guys. So, I share as many as I can with you.
My friend recently went out with a guy she met on Match.com. I'm alarmed at the number of hell dates I've heard from friends who have tried Match.com. I guess it's still pretty random-you can only get so much from a person's "profile".
In the advertising world, they say peer-to-peer recommendation is "the holy grail". With online dating, you don't have a mutual friend bridging that gap recommending a friend to you. It's a random crapshoot. And sometimes it can lead to events like this...
My friend Carrie met a guy named Robert on Match.com and the two went out on what started out as a normal, delightful date. Again, like my friend Margaret's foosball fiasco, distance played a role here. Robert stretched the truth slightly telling Carrie he lived in the Upper East Side. Turns out he lived in Harlem (at least another 1/2 hour from her place in Hoboken, NJ), so there was no way she was going to do the late night trip back to Hoboken-- a commute that would last over 45 minutes.
When they got to Robert's apartment, they were having some wine and discussing regular topics while sitting on the couch, when suddenly Robert flipped out about his career. He got up, paced about the room and muttered to himself about his career failures. Carrie, creeped out by his sudden shift in behavior, decided to turn in for the night, went to bed and pretended to sleep.
Once Robert thought Carrie was asleep, he downed a handle of Jack Daniels while his ranting grew more and more disturbing. Carrie tried to calm him down and urged him to come to bed and go to sleep which he finally agreed to do. But Robert was too disturbed to sleep. He got up again and went back to his Jack Daniels, downing shots of it this time.
Carrie was finally freaked out completely, but Hoboken seemed so far away. It represented safety and sanity, but it was coming up on 2AM, so she decided to do her best to sleep and deal with the trip in the morning-scary how many women feel the need to either pretend they are asleep, or try to fall asleep on dates gone awry.
But Carrie would be distracted by something else before she was able to fall asleep. After things had finally quieted down, she noticed a strange sound coming from the corner of the bedroom. She got up and saw Robert in the corner of the room where all of her stuff was sitting on the floor, peeing on it.
I must say that Carrie showed a lot of patience throughout the evening, putting up with Robert's career ranting, alcoholic outbursts, and generaly freakishness, but this was the last straw. Finally, Carrie made her way home to Hoboken at 2AM, clutching her urine-stained belongings.
I'm thinking I need to take a girl home who lives far away from my apartment. The weirdest thing I might say when a girl comes home with me would be along the lines of: "listen to this song; it tears me down and then builds me back up again." A bit dramatic, but not psycho. And, even so, it seems like women get more patient when they are far away from their own place because the late night commute is a pain.
Funny thing is, guys don't realize how awful they are. While Robert did call after the date (mostly to apologize), he continued to ask Carrie out for drinks. Did he not remember what he had done? And, did he not realize that "drinks" would lead to him possibly urinating on her purse and belongings?
Have you had many nightmare dates resulting from online dating services? And what's the worst thing a guy has ever done on a date that he ignored by trying to ask you out again? Was it any worse than relieving themselves on your belongings?