I have at least 10 years on Billie Eilish, and yet the second I heard her sing "Shoulda taken a break/ Not an Oxford comma," I knew that she was my new icon. In the past month alone, Eilish has picked up 10 Grammys, turned the notion of "red carpet style" on its head (and looked great doing it), and, as of today, given me a gift that I shall be using in all my texts going forward: Her brilliant, brutal reactions to various celebrity presentations at the Oscars.
Believe me, I get it. When you're 17 and effortlessly cool, there are many, many things that grown-ups do that are painfully uncool (I mean, I was not a cool 17-year-old, and even I was regularly mortified by what my dad considered a joke). So when Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph performed an SNL-esque skit that saw the duo pretending to be mad, then not actually being mad, then pretending to be angry instead—I won't lie, I didn't quite get it either—Eilish was like, what?
An hour or so later, Eminem took to the stage for a surprise performance of "Lose Yourself," the classic song from his 2002 film 8 Mile. It was pretty confusing, largely because "Lose Yourself" is 18 years old, and Eminem just released a new album, so why did he pick that one? Don't get me wrong, I like "Lose Yourself," but I was confused, and so was Billie Eilish, who was...a one-year-old human when "Lose Yourself" came out.
Here's the video of Eilish being like...what?
In other news, I will now be responding to all my forthcoming messages using this meme. Am I free tonight?
What do I want for dinner?
Can I pick up some milk on the way home?
May we all endeavor to be as cool as Billie when we are twice her age, which for me is...coming up alarmingly quickly!
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