Gratuitous tears, once the domain of televangelists and best actresses, have popped up all over the boldfaced world. MC looks at who's weeping, and why.
TARA CONNER, MISS USA
First for winning the crown, then for getting busted making out with Miss Teen USA.
PARIS HILTON
It was so, so unfair that she had to go to jail, when all she did was break the law. Repeatedly.
HEATHER MILLS
The media's "hate campaign" caused her to consider suicide — she told us on TV.
ELLEN DEGENERES
Distressingly, pet-adoption rules actually apply to famous people.
DUANE "DOG" CHAPMAN
The bounty hunter and n-word user mourned the loss of his TV career.
!["Wild Wild Country" Filmmaker Toast](https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/images/gettyimages-1011177192.jpg?crop=1.00xw:0.703xh;0,0.0157xh&resize=480:* ""Wild Wild Country" Filmmaker Toast")
