The One Personal Style Trick That'll Stop You Buying Something You'll Regret

When it comes to personal style, I staunchly believe that knowing what you’re not is as important as knowing what you are.

In my case, there's a long list of things I’m morally opposed to. If you like something on this list, that’s okay! It’s encouraged, even, because your good taste should not be mine. That’s what makes this whole game interesting.

Here's my list:

• Over-the-knee boots
• Open floor plans
• Mini Kelly bags
• Gel manicures
• Impersonal jewelry
• Wedge sandals, or truly, a wedge shoe of any kind
• Graphic prints
• Terrazzo tiles from the Millennial decor era
• The color orange

Just as you have your mental list of silhouettes and colors that work for you, I think it’s equally important to make a list of everything you hate. The shapes that don’t work. The colors that make you look pale. The trends you tried, and failed at, and swore to never try again, until you saw your favorite editor wearing it, and thought, oh well maybe...This is where the list comes in. Ideally, it’s a tangible list in a notebook, but your Notes app will do.

When I buy something, I make sure it fits into my shopping doctrine, a personal framework for making smart decisions. Which I sometimes violate. And then regret.

At this point, I think most of us have our essentials. If not, here are mine: a white t-shirt from Sold Out NYC, black trousers from Toteme, and nubby soft, ruched loafers.

It’s the uniform I reach for when I have to get dressed in a hurry, but it’s also the one I reach for as a base layer to show off something beautiful I want to wear, sometimes switching items out. A gold ballerina instead of a loafer. Or a cashmere t-shirt, in rich, fall colors, to give added dimension to a look.

Despite my rigor with shopping, honed from years of working in fashion, there are a few areas where my willpower diminishes, which is where my loathing list comes in. It reminds me that I am an adult woman with boundaries, with a carefully executed style manifesto that only materialized after many bad decisions. And that I look ridiculous in orange.

The list of objects that always gain my affection include:

Printed Vintage-Esque Coats

I can’t see one without feeling a flutter and uttering Oh I think I need this to whoever is in my vicinity. Patterned. Brocade. Velvet. An evening jacket (oh so perfect with my uniform above, with a quick swap of the loafer for a low bitchy heel).

A Cozy Jacket

There is something about a gorgeous jacket, which if you live in a colder climate, also doubles as your outfit for much of December, that feels justifiable.

A jacket wardrobe should consist of a few key categories: a field jacket, for when you’re sporty; a light layer thin enough to wear under a big coat but warm enough if it’s a bit chilled inside (I’m partial to Rohe’s Mandarin jacket line); a leather bomber (look no further than Nour Hammour), and a cashmere coat (Lisa Yang has the best cashmere).

Long Necklaces and Cocktail Rings

As I said above, I’m very opposed to non-personal jewelry. But, I’m quite swayed by jewelry that makes you feel something. The pinnacle is finding a vintage piece that has been loved and passed down. But there are plenty of designers making modern heirlooms as well. I die for anything Danielle Sherman makes, and she’s now expanded into more affordable wares with her silver collection. Erede, which is designed by a dear friend and old roommate, does wonders with lab grown, as does Dorsey, whose pieces are all vintage inspired.

Fancy Flats

Living in Paris means I’m always walking, or biking, which means I need a shoe that is practical to walk in, but gorgeous enough that it looks deliberate when I arrive. I’ve amassed a collection of fancy flats: satin ones from Toteme, pointy from Prada and house slippers from Piedaterre.

So, as you’re doling out wishes of gratitude this holiday season, add one more for your loathing list, and all the frivolous purchases it’ll save you from. And if you so incline, share your most loathed items. Maybe it’ll help you make some friends. Psychologists say a common enemy is the quickest path to friendship.