Even the "nicest" guy could be after sex (opens in new tab). Guys have methods of trying to get laid (opens in new tab) without committing. These types get what they want and once they are satisfied, they are gone (opens in new tab). Deep relationships don't mean much to them.
Many guys use a "clever," sophisticated approach to getting sex. They launch a campaign, paint a picture, put up a facade, whatever you want to call it. It can make it tough for a woman to decipher a guy's intentions (opens in new tab).
Here are a few signs that he's only after sex:
He Spends Lots of Money, but Not Much Time
Guys with a lot of money might have an unofficial "sex budget." Showering with gifts, fancy dinners, etc., is a common tactic. (opens in new tab)But time spent has more substance than money spent. Is the guy spending time with you, or taking time to get to know you?
He Contacts You During "Sex Hours"
"Sex hours" vary by age group and by person. Sex hours are those hours after someone is done having their fun with friends, or finished with work, and they are looking for sex. If you're only getting texts after 2 a.m., for example, take note.
He Won't Commit
There are many reasons that guys won't commit (opens in new tab). If a guy is only interested in the physical part of a relationship, he won't take on the responsibility of a real relationship. Also, if a guy is not committing, there's a chance he's sewing his wild oats (opens in new tab), meaning he might be on a conquest for as much sex as possible with as many women as he can.
You Feel Like It's All You Do
Relationships suffer from lack of sex, and from too much sex. If you feel like you're having too much sex (opens in new tab), you're probably right. If it continues, it gets worse, and damages your sense of self-worth. So, speak up; if he cares about you, he'll work with you to change it. If not, he'll get upset with you and/or take off (opens in new tab).
You Haven't Met His Family or Friends
Guys are picky about who they take home to Mama. Generally, a guy will not bring a girl he's seeing around his friends/family (opens in new tab) unless the relationship is serious. Take note if he's keeping you out of particular events and outings with friends and/or family. Remember, too, if you're around for some of these outings, you might ruin his game with other ladies he's trying to get with.
You Stay in When You Should Be Out
I love "vegging out" with a girl as much as the next person, but it's a little weird if you go on vacation and you don't leave the hotel room. I was guilty of this with one girlfriend. We went away and she wanted to explore and I was only enjoying the sex with her at that stage of the relationship. I shouldn't have been with her at that point (opens in new tab), and I felt bad after I realized how bad my behavior was insisting that we stay in the hotel.
He's Pressuring You
This is the oldest one in the book; it's been around since our teen years. If he's pushing for sex before you're ready/comfortable, it's obviously on his mind more than getting to know you and dating.
He's Preparing for It
I'm very good about hiding my "sex-related items." I think it's rather assumptive to have a bunch of condoms around (opens in new tab), but keep an eye out. Maybe he's confident, or wants to be "prepared," but he might be planning/expecting sex too. I should probably try to be a bit more prepared. However, if I'm dating a girl and we haven't had sex, I usually allow one missed opportunity due to not having a condom before buying one for next time with her. I just want her to know I wasn't assuming anything.
You're Always Drunk When You're Together
I have hung out with girls who I got drunk with and made out with afterward (opens in new tab). These situations usually turn into flings based on physical intimacy.
He Uses Words, but Not Actions
Saying "I love you" is different than showing "I love you." (opens in new tab) Make sure he shows that he loves you and doesn't just read you a script. He might be saying the right things because he wants sex, not because he really means it.
What signals do you see from guys who are just in it for sex? Do you ever fall for any of the signals? Do you agree with mine?
Follow me on Twitter: twitter.com/richravens (opens in new tab)
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