Even the "nicest" guy could be after sex (opens in new tab). Guys have methods of trying to get laid (opens in new tab) without committing. These types get what they want and once they are satisfied, they are gone (opens in new tab). Deep relationships don't mean much to them.
Many guys use a "clever," sophisticated approach to getting sex. They launch a campaign, paint a picture, put up a facade, whatever you want to call it. It can make it tough for a woman to decipher a guy's intentions (opens in new tab).
Here are a few signs that he's only after sex:
He Spends Lots of Money, but Not Much Time
Guys with a lot of money might have an unofficial "sex budget." Showering with gifts, fancy dinners, etc., is a common tactic. (opens in new tab)But time spent has more substance than money spent. Is the guy spending time with you, or taking time to get to know you?
He Contacts You During "Sex Hours"
"Sex hours" vary by age group and by person. Sex hours are those hours after someone is done having their fun with friends, or finished with work, and they are looking for sex. If you're only getting texts after 2 a.m., for example, take note.
He Won't Commit
There are many reasons that guys won't commit (opens in new tab). If a guy is only interested in the physical part of a relationship, he won't take on the responsibility of a real relationship. Also, if a guy is not committing, there's a chance he's sewing his wild oats (opens in new tab), meaning he might be on a conquest for as much sex as possible with as many women as he can.
You Feel Like It's All You Do
Relationships suffer from lack of sex, and from too much sex. If you feel like you're having too much sex (opens in new tab), you're probably right. If it continues, it gets worse, and damages your sense of self-worth. So, speak up; if he cares about you, he'll work with you to change it. If not, he'll get upset with you and/or take off (opens in new tab).
You Haven't Met His Family or Friends
Guys are picky about who they take home to Mama. Generally, a guy will not bring a girl he's seeing around his friends/family (opens in new tab) unless the relationship is serious. Take note if he's keeping you out of particular events and outings with friends and/or family. Remember, too, if you're around for some of these outings, you might ruin his game with other ladies he's trying to get with.
You Stay in When You Should Be Out
I love "vegging out" with a girl as much as the next person, but it's a little weird if you go on vacation and you don't leave the hotel room. I was guilty of this with one girlfriend. We went away and she wanted to explore and I was only enjoying the sex with her at that stage of the relationship. I shouldn't have been with her at that point (opens in new tab), and I felt bad after I realized how bad my behavior was insisting that we stay in the hotel.
He's Pressuring You
This is the oldest one in the book; it's been around since our teen years. If he's pushing for sex before you're ready/comfortable, it's obviously on his mind more than getting to know you and dating.
He's Preparing for It
I'm very good about hiding my "sex-related items." I think it's rather assumptive to have a bunch of condoms around (opens in new tab), but keep an eye out. Maybe he's confident, or wants to be "prepared," but he might be planning/expecting sex too. I should probably try to be a bit more prepared. However, if I'm dating a girl and we haven't had sex, I usually allow one missed opportunity due to not having a condom before buying one for next time with her. I just want her to know I wasn't assuming anything.
You're Always Drunk When You're Together
I have hung out with girls who I got drunk with and made out with afterward (opens in new tab). These situations usually turn into flings based on physical intimacy.
He Uses Words, but Not Actions
Saying "I love you" is different than showing "I love you." (opens in new tab) Make sure he shows that he loves you and doesn't just read you a script. He might be saying the right things because he wants sex, not because he really means it.
What signals do you see from guys who are just in it for sex? Do you ever fall for any of the signals? Do you agree with mine?
Follow me on Twitter: twitter.com/richravens (opens in new tab)
Follow Marie Claire on Twitter: twitter.com/MarieClaire (opens in new tab)
The 50 Best Love Songs of All Time
The best, most romantic love songs ever written, spanning every genre.
By Gabrielle Ulubay
31 Father's Day Gifts So Much Better Than Socks and a Tie
Guaranteed to please even the fussiest of dads.
By Sara Holzman
The Cannes Film Festival 2022: The Best Red Carpet Looks
Here's what everyone wore for the festival's 75th year.
By Sara Holzman
30 Female-Friendly Porn Websites for Any Mood
All the best websites, right this way.
By Kayleigh Roberts
70 Cheap Date Ideas for Couples on a Budget
"Love don't cost a thing." —J.Lo
By The Editors
The 50 Best Vibrators, According to Sex Toy Experts
The most trusted source in feelin' yourself.
By Alanna Greco
Diary of a Non-Monogamist
Rachel Krantz, author of the new book 'Open,' shares the ups and downs of her journey into the world of open relationships.
By Abigail Pesta
The 16 Best Sex Games to Spice Up Date Night With
Game night, but make it hot.
By The Editors
71 Fun Date Ideas for 2022
Skip the old "dinner and a movie" for something original.
By Katherine J Igoe
COVID Forced My Polyamorous Marriage to Become Monogamous
For Melanie LaForce, pandemic-induced social distancing guidelines meant she could no longer see men outside of her marriage. But monogamy didn't just change her relationship with her husband—it changed her relationship with herself.
By Melanie LaForce
Four Flirting Fun Facts--With Research to Back Them Up!
My pal Judy Dutton just wrote an excellent new book: How We Do It: How the Science of Sex Can Make You a Better Lover. She's chatted with me about the psychological studies that show how best to flirt; what kind of pick-up lines work best; and what you're really saying with your body language.
By Maura Kelly