Scene: It's been a while since your last selfie, so you have to post one soon to prove to your followers that you're alive and kicking. But it's that time of the month when you get one massive spot right smack dab in the middle of your chin—not conducive to feeling yourself. Or selfies.
What do you do?
- FaceTune until you are nothing more than a smear
- Put a circle-lens sunglasses filter on it
- Smother your T-zone in Apto Instant Detoxifying Mask
- Absolutely nothing and like it
When given the choice, the last option always wins, especially when it comes backed by major celebrities and an astounding number of fashion editorials. So what is this silver bullet? Look down.
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It's your hands, silly, which can be used in a variety of ways to cover unsightly pustules whilst framing the unblemished bits of your complexion nicely. (Because that is another cruelty of the menstrual period—that aside from the cyclops eye that's taken residence between your eyebrows, the rest of your skin is ready for a goddamn SK-II ad.) More pluses: You don't have to practice as much, like you must with the fish gape. (Still can't get my cheek and jaw muscles to cooperate without twitching after 5 seconds.) Your nails and rings get to make an appearance. You can go as subtle (a single digit) or as big (full-on Phantom of the Opera mask with a whole palm) as you want.
And you can make cool glasses with your fingers like Beyoncé.
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But it all goes back to the premiere tenet of social media: presenting a scrubbed image of yourself throwing mad shapes, even though that would be better suited to Boomerang. So don't let a little bump keep you from cultivating your online presence, and do as the Supers do.
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Chelsea Peng is a writer and editor who was formerly the assistant editor at MarieClaire.com. She's also worked for The Strategist and Refinery29, and is a graduate of Northwestern University. On her tombstone, she would like a GIF of herself that's better than the one that already exists on the Internet and a free fro-yo machine. Besides frozen dairy products, she's into pirates, carbs, Balzac, and snacking so hard she has to go lie down.
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