What I Hate About Me: I Look Like The Grinch

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It recently dawned on me

that I am being too picky with the girls I date. After I thought about this idea in more depth, I realized

that I'm really no prize, so who am I to even be picky? I decided to try an exercise that is

very much against what I was taught to do.

I spent 14 years being

educated at a small private Quaker school. The experience was amazing, but it gave me too much self

worth. I distinctly remember a

story about an I.L.A.C sign that hangs invisibly around our necks. I.L.A.C stands for I Am Loveable And

Capable. It's taken me years to

even buy into this—and, you know what, I still haven't bought into it

completely. The story dictates

that every time someone says something hurtful, or crippling to you, a piece of

your I.L.A.C sign is broken off. If we go around hurting one another too much, then we are all left

broken, with no sense of I.L.A.C.

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But, I've been too picky

with the girls I want to date. Perhaps I am alone because I don't deserve anyone beautiful, special, or

intelligent.

So, instead of looking in

the mirror tonight and telling myself that I deserve someone great (I.L.A.C), I

will go over all of the things I don't like about myself. If I humble myself, and realize that I'm

not that special, perhaps my standards, which are impossibly high, will come

down and I will be more forgiving when a strand of a girl's hair seems out of

place.

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So, here are the things I

don't like about myself and how I will correct them:

1. My Facial Hair

My eyebrows are too thick—like

the Grinch's. I also don't like where some of the hair on my face is. This is the biggest thing about my

appearance I wish I could change. It's been on my conscious since I was in Middle School.

SOLUTION: I've been going to this lady who lasers

the hell out of my face...yes, I admit it.

2. My Gut

Luckily, I seem to get by

with this. The Grinch has one too—hell,

maybe I am the Grinch. But, I'm

pretty happy with my physique other than my gut. I'd feel perfect if I could get rid of it.

SOLUTION: Run 45 minutes at least three times a

week
and stop eating such big portions. Wow, that doesn't seem fun at all.

3. My Dating Attitude

Remember when we first

met? I was going to re-vamp myself

as 2008 Rich? Yeah, he's still in

Beta. Just the other night I saw

and adorable girl in a bar and watched two really lame guys hit on her and get

rebuked. But, you know what? I am lamer than those guys because I

just stood there and admired her. I need to find that gear, get into it, try, try, try, fail, fail, fail...and

succeed at some point...and I have to want to succeed.

SOLUTION: Get up off my ass and meet people, and

remember the spirit of 2008 Rich.

4. Production

I should be writing more

music, more stories, writing more friends on email. I should be kicking ass at work. I should be taking trips home to help my parents around

their house. I should be sending

my nieces gifts. I should be

volunteering in soup kitchens, and making the world better because I was lucky

enough to be brought into this world and into a household that armed me with

the tools to do it.

SOLUTION: Grow up. Realize life is short. Try it little by little and build new habits. It's always possible. Research. Find things that kill two birds with one stone (#3 and #4 in

this case) like this cool dating service that matches up couples to do

volunteer work together
(

they are currently only serving NYC, but over the next year they plan to expand into other cities)
. Don't be afraid of the challenge of

powerful women
who do stuff like this.

I don't know if that was

particularly healthy to do. I

think it was fair to do though—since I am continuously writing about how I can't

find a girl because I'm so picky. Maybe I can't change those standards I have. But, I can change myself enough: improve while I'm single...so that when I meet this amazing

girl, I can be up to her standards.

What things about

yourselves would you change? Do

you think it's helpful to, once in a while, look at the things you need to

change? Does it help you in

dating, relationships, and personal growth?

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