No one will be exceptionally happy to hear this, but 1) people have been wearing 'em, and 2) they never really left—everybody except Rihanna just pretended they did. Here, learn to recognize the 17 signs of the Pants Apocalypse, except it's really not so bad because at least you won't need to shave above your kneecap.
I think she wore this to lunch, which is a bold move both because of the spill risk and how it would show that you had a bread roll and a chocolate fondant. But good for you, Kim Kardashian.
Good American, $145
BUY IT: goodamerican.com.
Very French girl (in the stereotypical way that gets people riled up these days) meets American girl with ancestors who came on the Mayflower and summers in Nantucket. Note the contrast with the slide before. Also the sweater.
Interestingly, even slimmer, but somehow business-like? Weird.
Bermuda shorts as culottes, worn with a top that's also big. Not for the shy or people who want other people to know they actually use their Equinox membership.
Shop similar: Lafayette 148, $478
BUY IT: neimanmarcus.com.
💦 for Rihanna's low-slung board shorts.
With the sweater tucked in like Boris from the Princess Dairies, wow, but still so cool.
Trust the French girl (Marion Cotillard) to make (Dior) Bermuda shorts chic and office apropos.
These board shorts are like fashion-y Marmite. I happen to like yeast byproducts, voluminous bottoms, and opportunities to wear drug rugs.
Iggy Azalea's internal monologue while getting dressed: "Just going on a safari in my pink satin anorak and lace-up boots." But seriously—the lesson here, although not terribly well-executed, is go for one color head-to-toe if you're working with a tricky silhouette.
Better example: this Hermès look that probably costs $345,874,537,495,437 and is made from rare alligators massaged with truffles.
Here is Kendall Jenner driving an invisible bus carrying lone, unwilling passenger Kylie Jenner. Snaps for not propagating the denim diaper epidemic.
Honestly, you don't even notice them with all the other stuff going on in this J.Crew ensemble. *light bulb*
Shop similar: J.Crew, $45
BUY IT: jcrew.com.
Preschool jet-setter North West paired her Bermuda shorts with a warm-weather turtleneck, Docs, and two adults staring intently into the middle ground/anywhere that's not near a camera.
But her Canadian tuxedo is :) (That officially makes eight times now that she's beat us at our own game.)
You could pop that Dior embroidered waistcoat over anything and it'd look pretty good, but the idea here is that the hems all hit at the same place so the whole effect is highly polished. Even though you're wearing dad pants.
Shiny fabric and heels = fashion Sriracha. (Because they make everything better, not that this Emilia Wickstead outfit needs it. And I realize that's the second food metaphor in this story.)
Shop similar: Missguided, $15
BUY IT: missguidedus.com.