This weekend I'm in Philly to be the best man at my buddy's wedding. Weddings are one of a trilogy great places to hit on women (opens in new tab). The other two are bachelorette parties, and bitter "girls night out" Valentine's Day groups. (opens in new tab)
As Best Man, I'm afforded elevated status in the group beyond the regular guests. Anyone in the wedding party, or immediate family of the bride/groom have "elevated status".
Now, there are a few things I need to make sure of:
1. Don't discriminate; go for anyone from wait/service staff, friends from work, and random cousins and extended family to bridal party.
2. Perform my duties well. I will have to look good (I really look bad in tuxes) (opens in new tab)when I'm doing my part at the ceremony. Also, my speech at the reception should be funny, reveal a sensitive side, and avoid rambling. No one likes long speeches!
There are a few obstacles standing in my way, such as my propensity to get too wasted at events with great food and free drinks. (opens in new tab) In fact, I recently accomplished the feat of getting cut off at two bars in one night at a wedding.
Of course, every wedding must deliver cute ladies. Usually, it's impossible to know how cute the girls are until you arrive at the wedding. But in this world of iPhone apps and internet stalking, (opens in new tab)I've learned of a way to see wedding guests before you even get there.
OneWed.com is an interesting wedding site with a twist: (opens in new tab)it combines wedding planning with social networking. Using Facebook Connect, guests can post wedding activites on their Facebook page. (opens in new tab)
And, you get a glimpse of who is attending a wedding complete with a profile and picture! Knowing this info will help me decide if I should give up and get drunk (if there are no attractive girls), or pace myself for a particular cute girl that I noticed on the site.
There's a task list that updates everyone on what the bride's accomplishments, and notes what needs to be done. I think the groom could use one of these. My friend just handed me the wedding rings 20 minutes ago and told me I had to show up with them for the wedding. Really? I can't handle that responsibility, and I didn't know the best man was supposed to do that! The groom and I just spent an hour driving around, asking one another what task we are supposed to do next. It's the blind leading the blind.
OneWed.com also allows guests join in the dialogue. Finally: a place for me to vent and share my desires for all weddings. I do not normally eat shrimp. I'm a social shrimp eater. (opens in new tab)At every wedding I think about shrimp cocktail entire time leading up to the cocktail hour. One time I went to a wedding and there was no food at the cocktail hour. I was so unhappy. My friends and I are pretty ruthless; we critique the wedding from the bridesmaid's dresses to the food to the venue throughout the whole experience. The following are my rules for a well-planned wedding:
- The cocktail hour sets the tone for the wedding. Cranky people leaving the ceremony want food and drink. Make this the crown jewel of the wedding. Shrimp, seafood, sliders. I love chicken on a stick too!
- Short ceremony is amazing, but considered an added bonus
- Singles tables at dinner are awkward (opens in new tab), but helpful. I do better with other singles than married couples.
- Crowd control is under-rated. Have plenty of food stations and bars all around, keep things spread out.
- Open bar is key.
- You can never have too much food or drink.
Men assume that women arewrapped up in the romance of a wedding, (opens in new tab) and the single women have a bit of frustration laced with their happiness (opens in new tab) as they watch another woman they know settling down. (opens in new tab) And, of course, tons of free liquor doesn't help anyone's judgment-this is evident when the average age of the guests doing the "Electric Slide" (opens in new tab) is around 75.
Do single women look for guys at weddings, or is that assumption wrong? What factors of a wedding drive us to hook up? What do you think are the most important parts of a good wedding?
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