When—and How—to Bring Up Money While Dating, According to "Broke Millennial" Author Erin Lowry

Talking about money doesn't come naturally for everyone, but it definitely does for Erin Lowry. The author of the Broke Millennial book series and self-described "financial translator" learned the importance of having open, regular conversations about money from her parents. Now, she's made a career out of encouraging others to do the same—and sharing her hard-won financial wisdom along the way.

On the latest episode of the Marie Claire podcast "Nice Talk", Lowry chats about when and how she thinks people should talk money while dating.

"I mean, listen, I'd love a date one," the writer jokes. Seriously, though, she says that the exchange of financial information doesn't even have to be an actual conversation—at first.

"It's just context clues that you're already getting right away," she explains. "What type of dates are you going on? What's the expectation of who pays and how? How is somebody paying? And I know that sounds weird, but is it credit card? Is it debit card? Is it cash? Are they using a coupon? Is it happy hour? ... Sometimes people look down on things like figuring out a discount. Somebody like me, I'm like, 'Okay, I see you.' So you're also kind of finding out: Is this person in a lifestyle way compatible for me?"

Once the relationship becomes more serious, Lowry says that "you should be very prescriptively having these [money] conversations."

"It starts with small things, like, what kind of lifestyle are we living as a couple? How lavish are our dates? What kind of vacations are we taking? What's our expectations of each other? What kind of gifts are we giving each other at the holidays, at birthdays, for anniversaries?"

The next level should take the lifestyle conversation into more substantive territory.

"First, have just the conversation of what kind of life do you want to live?" Lowry says. "Where do you want to live? Do you want kids? If so, how many? What kind of schools would those kids go to? What kind of trips would we take? What kind of jobs do we want to work ... Do you want to be able to micro retire at some point? When do you want to for real retire? Do you have to take care of family members at any point? Like, all of those things are incredibly important to know from your potential lifetime partner."

And while the lifestyle conversations will naturally overlap with the financial conversations, you do want to make sure you talk about finances, specifically, "well before" moving in together.

"If you two are searching for an apartment together, money information is coming out, or if somebody's going to buy a house, that's going to be made clear," Lowry says. "But if you're going to get married, you have to have all of the nitty gritty financial conversations."

And it doesn't end there. For couples in serious relationships, she suggests having money convos about spending, planning, and goals "quarterly minimum."

Doesn't sound fun? "If you're a couple who really doesn't love having these conversations, order your favorite takeout, have a favorite bottle of wine or beer, bake a favorite dessert," Lowry says. "Just have something that's positive."

For more from Lowry—including her advice about wedding budgets and prenups—check out this week’s installment of Nice Talk. The episode is available everywhere you listen to podcasts.