How Your Senses Affect Your Relationship

Guys are visual creatures, but the other senses are important for a complete experience with someone.

A while back, I noticed a few little brown moths in my apartment. I'm against killing any organism unless it's some kind of vermin (roaches, mice and rats are smarter than me, so I am more defenseless than they are). So, I co-existed with the occasional moth that I spotted.


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One day I realized my sweaters had random holes in them-beyond the holes I created myself with drunken gymnastics in the bars. Finally, my mom shed some light on it:

"You must have moths, because every sweater you wear is full of holes."

Subsequent internet research threw me into even more of a panic. This was an epidemic! I can barely afford a t-shirt, so I did not want to have my sweaters all devoured by these pests!

My friend Margaret and I went to the hardware store and loaded up on cedar and mothballs. Furthermore (once my mom has it in her crawl that I need help, I'm set), my Xmas stocking was filled with mothballs and other moth exterminating devices.

When I treated my closet, I didn't hold back. Going against the instructions, I unloaded the entire stock of mothballs into the closet-it smelled like a mothball quarry.

I recently had to take a bag out of the "quarry" to carry to work. It was not long before everyone in the office stated: "hey I smell mothballs." I suddenly became very self conscious--sure, my sweaters wouldn't have any holes in them, but the cost of driving the moths away: the women were fleeing from the smell too!

Later that evening I went to a work function and checked my bag; the really cute coat check girl (whoI might have hit on if my bag didn't smell like mothballs) did her best to hide her discontent when I warned her of the bag's odious odiferous plight.

Now, I must try to figure out how to keep my sweaters looking good, while balancing the smell of the mothballs. This is like fixing leaks pertaining to the senses of women-once I plug up one hole, another little fountain sprouts up somewhere else.

Guys are visual creatures, but the other senses-while understated-are very important to create a complete experience with someone.

Senses pick up ambience: I once fell asleep with a girl in New England in the Winter and all I heard was the radiator trying to keep the room warm, and the occasional wooden creak, and our breathing. It was strangely romantic.

Body odor and bad breath are killers; but nice smells-like perfume-- can remind you of someone or some event. When a girl leaves my place for the last time, my pillow smells like her shampoo-- and I'm torn between sleeping on it to remember her, or washing it immediately so that I can alleviate the pain of her being gone.

In light of my embarrassing mothball problem, I decided to list out how our senses (other than sight) affect us in the dating world


When a girl has a huge impact in my life, she usually gets a song. Every time I hear "Sugar Magnolia" by The Grateful Dead, for example, I'm reminded of a girl I had a huge crush on in middle school.

The 6th Sense

Gut instinct is correct more often than we think. If I meet a girl and I have a good feeling about it (even though my gut, while I have plenty of it, is often wrong) I will usually pursue her. Or, sometimes things just don't seem right, and it drives me away. Do you, or guys you've dated have any sensory disaster stories?


It's amazing when someone just knows how to touch you. Gentle touching is an art, and unfortunately few people know how to do it. A good touch has a lot to do with location on the body and timing. Sometimes just breathing near someone can stimulate someone's hearing and tactile senses.


People have long argued that chocolate and oysters are catalysts for fireworks between people. Eating together can be a very sensual experience,though I sometimes get so into food, I forget about who I'm with.

What senses are important to you when perceiving the opposite gender? Can certain things (like mothballs) turn you off completely if your senses don't react favorably to them?