Petty Party: The Most Guiltily Satisfying Celebrity Things That Happened This Week

50 Cent should've kept two to himself.

Getty, design by Monica Park

This week in petty...a one-sided battle for cable-network dominance, ego-crushing airport reggae, and an inflatable chicken named Donny. Welcome to the Petty Party, where I round up the news that wasn't fit to print elsewhere.

When a Giant Inflatable Chicken with Trump Hair Materialized Outside the White House

Sing it with me: I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know someone will install a massive inflatable chicken with the president's hair and mannerisms outside his residence, possibly to call him a coward for not releasing his taxes. If only he were there to see the children kicking it.

When Nobody Could Let Kendall Jenner Maybe Not Tipping at Baby's All Right Go

Did she tip? Did she not? Did she tip in cash? Did she do the 20 percent kind or the $2 per drink but maybe more, depending on the difficulty of the mixing kind? What's Nietzsche got to do with this? Why does the bar keep posting and deleting? Why are we so invested?

When 50 Cent Was Obnoxious and Gabrielle Union Was the Definition of Class

Oh no, don't let him tell on her to her husband!

Seemingly out of the blue, 50 Cent subtweeted Gabrielle Union's show Being Mary Jane, which shares a network with his show Power. (He did this with a meme of himself on Instagram, to be precise.) Then Union responded in a comment which we would do well to print out in wallet size to pull out when the urge to stoop comes on.

When Rihanna Half-Apologized for Hurting Diplo's Feelings

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#DutyFree 😂😂😂 My bad @diplo

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In an interview with GQ, Diplo recalls how Rihanna shot him down twice for a collab, once because she doesn't do house music, and another time because "This sounds like a reggae song at an airport." From her "my bad" semi-apology on Instagram, one gets the sense that Rihanna is the type of person that doesn't care in the moment about making Diplo sad but will have a laugh about making Diplo sad later.

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