The five-time nominee knows his way around the block. Here, we imagine his innermost Academy Awards red carpet thoughts.
*Spots Kate Winslet across the room*
I know, I know...I look good in a bow tie.
Just wondering where the snacks are...
Who's my date, you ask? Just some model.
Stand closer to me, Gisele!
Yeahhh, that's right.
Practicing my power stance.
Sh*t. I think I left my vape in the car.
Yep. I definitely left my vape in the car.
Christoph! My dear man.
Mom please don't embarrass me.
I'm seriously boycotting if I don't win. Where's my vape?
All I need in this life of sin, is my and my...Kate Winslet.
Pretty happy I met this guy, you know?
Peace out, industrial polluters. I got what I came for.