Princess Diana Repeated This Surprising Mantra When "Things Got Too Much for Her" With Prince Charles

The late princess took "great strength" from one of her qualities.

Princess Diana and Prince Charles looking away from each other with serious expressions
(Image credit: Getty Images)

Unlike modern royal brides like Kate Middleton, Meghan Markle, or Sophie Rhys-Jones, Princess Diana came into the Royal Family already holding a prestigious pedigree. As a Spencer of "special ancient stock and rarefied upbringing" and the daughter of an earl, Lady Diana wasn't quite a princess growing up, but she might as well have been. The new book Dianaworld: An Obsession by Edward White dives into the late royal's life through the lens of the public and those who knew her—and she was "exceptionally proud" of her Spencer background.

While Middleton might've been mocked for having a former flight attendant mother, Lady Diana Spencer was born into one of the oldest and most aristocratic families in Britain. White wrote that some have told "tales of Diana waving away her background," but that couldn't have been further from the truth.

The princess "was exceptionally proud of her heritage," he penned, adding that it wasn't necessarily the closeness to her family, "but everything entailed in being a Spencer." Diana appreciated "centuries of inherited specialness which supposedly was the very thing that allowed her to relate to everyone."

Princess Diana and Prince Charles in a carriage on their wedding day

Diana wore the Spencer Tiara on her 1981 wedding day.

(Image credit: Getty Images)

Marrying into the Royal Family wasn't as wild of a concept to someone like Diana as it would've been to Middleton or Markle—after all, Lady Di was well acquainted with the royals, and Queen Elizabeth even served as Diana's brother Charles's godmother. But although Princess Diana proudly wore her family's Spencer Tiara on her 1981 wedding day, the fairytale ended soon afterward.

The then-Prince and Princess of Wales struggled with their marriage from the start, and according to White, Diana "was far prouder" of her Spencer title "than of being royal."

In fact, Diana's friend Rosa Monckton told White, "Whenever things got too much for her, she would say to herself: 'Diana, remember you're a Spencer.'"

Her Spencer pride extended to the way she raised her sons, Prince William and Prince Harry. Instead of sending them to Gordonstoun, the same school as Prince Charles, or to a more down-to-earth option, she chose Eton College—the school where Spencer men were traditionally educated.

Members of the Spencer family, including Princess Diana, pose at the golden wedding of the 7th Earl and Countess of Spencer in 1969.

Members of the Spencer family, including Princess Diana (front center, next to little brother Charles), pose at the golden wedding of the 7th Earl and Countess of Spencer in 1969.

(Image credit: Getty Images)

Princess Diana and Prince Charles sitting in chairs looking sad

Princess Diana and Prince Charles are seen during their 1991 Canadian tour.

(Image credit: Getty Images)

The author continued that another friend, Elsa Bowker, also confirmed "that the princess took great strength from her Spencer heritage."

"When I came here, I had my title. I don't need your title," Diana reportedly told Prince Charles during one argument about divorce.

At the end of the day, White wrote that Diana was a fascinating contradiction in many ways as she came from such a high-born background but claimed to be, "as she put it once, 'closer to people at the bottom than to people at the top.'"

However, he noted that today, "the Spencers are as close to being the people's aristocrats as it's possible to get—and Diana remains at the center of it all."

Kristin Contino
Senior Royal and Celebrity Editor

Kristin Contino is Marie Claire's Senior Royal and Celebrity editor. She's been covering royalty since 2018—including major moments such as the Platinum Jubilee, Queen Elizabeth II’s death and King Charles III's coronation—and places a particular focus on the British Royal Family's style and what it means.

Prior to working at Marie Claire, she wrote about celebrity and royal fashion at Page Six Style and covered royalty from around the world as chief reporter at Royal Central. Kristin has provided expert commentary for outlets including the BBC, Sky News, US Weekly, the Today Show and many others.

Kristin is also the published author of two novels, “The Legacy of Us” and “A House Full of Windsor.” She's passionate about travel, history, horses, and learning everything she can about her favorite city in the world, London.