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Put down that bag of fun-sized Snickers (if there are even any left), I have some very scary news.
According to Visual.ly (opens in new tab), on Halloween night the average American will eat roughly 3.4 pounds of candy, and the average American kid will consume as many as 7,000 calories, which is the equivalent of eating, like, what? Half a San Francisco-style burrito? So when you think about it that way, it's not so bad, right?
Just kidding. That's a LOT of calories. But here's the thing: candy is delicious. And it's HALLOWEEN. If you don't gorge on sweet treats, did Halloween really even happen? (Nope.)

I write on Fox’s THE GREAT NORTH. Before that, I wrote and edited for Cosmopolitan (opens in new tab) magazine and the Jezebel (opens in new tab) blog. My writing has also appeared in the New York Times, The New Yorker, Esquire, VICE, Marie Claire, McSweeney’s, California Sunday, BUST, Elle, Village Voice, Harper’s Bazaar, LA Weekly, Eater, Fast Company, Mic, Atlas Obscura, and more. I co-host/co-produce a comedy/storytelling (opens in new tab) show on the first Friday of every month at Stories in LA. I have a degree in Film and TV from NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts.
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