1. The Martini Man2. This guy who man-splained monogamy.3. This people-pleaser.4. The guy who witnessed the most embarrassing autocorrect typo of all time.5. This guy who was quick to call me tf out! Damn!6. Mr. Fifty Shades of Silver7. The guy with the panda suit.8. The (only) guy who figured it out9. The Shakespeare enthusiast10. The man who was...intrigued11. This ... guy12. This realist13. The "pro-dildo" guy14. The man who thought I was fake.15. This defeatist.
In a space already oversaturated with "heys" and low-stakes "lol sup" messages, coming up with the right thing to say on dating apps can be hard. How do you start a chill conversation without overthinking things?
Thanks to a general rut with *looks at hand* "casual dating", I decided to let Carrie Bradshaw run my dating life for a day. The rules were simple: I'd only talk to guys using the OG HBO queen's most iconic (or cringeworthy) lines. The results? Much like the show's breaking of the fourth wall, there were inconsistencies.
A very fair answer to an iconic line, tbh.
If a tree falls in a wood and no guys are there to unpack monogamy as a concept, did it really happen?
Thank you, I know it's asking a lot.
You and I both, buddy.
I respected him for calling me out until he circled back 21 hours later with that last bit.
Honestly, my own fault for expecting anything less from a dude who used ";)" and "Lol" (with a capital L — everyone knows "lol" lowercase is ironic and Cool)
Is the panda thing a race thing or what's up with that?
He negged me by calling me a Miranda and honestly, it worked. I gave him my number and he ended up facetiming me immediately so love is truly dead.
[image id='38c9feae-90c9-4a2a-8c26-b8f621b45694' mediaId='34900c5f-a27f-4956-a2e0-fb6109ce0f23' align='C' size='extrasmall' share='true' caption='' expand='true'][/image]
Cool...I too had to read Hamlet in the 10th grade.
I love when guys say fancy shit like "intrigued" online because you know IRL he doesn't even say anything when he flips you over halfway during sex. But yeah, tell me how intrigued you are, old sport.
I mean, it's kinda true.
Bummer that I was in such a rush to whip out one of Carrie's infamous sex lines that I didn't even READ what he had said correctly. But good to know that this guy is proudly "pro-dildo". I don't know any women who are "anti-masturbation" for men, but plenty of guys who think they're special snowflakes for acknowledging that women masturbate.
No, sparkle-emoji-user, I am very real!
In the end, I was thankful for Carrie's lines. Having a script erased a lot of the pressure I feel when trying to drum up conversation with a stranger. The experiment underlined the fact that most guys are at least willing to *try* with conversation — even if they're just doing their best to respond to weird, cryptic monologues. If so many people will vibe with Carrie's corny ass, it's not like I'm going to be hella judged if my opening joke doesn't land.
The emotional one-liners were also really fun, because who among us isn't looking for a soul mate? Women especially spend a lot of effort trying to look chill and casual ("Hahaha I also am dating like, six other people right now, lol, it's cool! Don't worry, I definitely did not talk about you like you were my boyfriend to my family or anything!"). Using Carrie's quotes was a fun way to vicariously live out any and all no-chill fantasies I had about leading with my true monogamous freak flag.
I will admit that I felt a little guilty about the experiment at first. I'm someone who is baseline always a little scared that guys are trolling me (Is every hot guy who's ever hooked up with me just doing so for some sick She's All That-like bet?). But then I remembered the guy who took Carrie's infamous "some women aren't meant to be tamed," line as an okay to segue into talking about handcuffs, and then I don't feel that bad.
Tia Is Launching Fertility—and Preparing for a Post-Roe America
As women's healthcare startup Tia was gearing up to debut fertility care and a new clinic, the Roe v. Wade leak prompted CEO Carolyn Witte to accelerate plans to offer medication abortions, marking the most defining moment yet for the company.
By Tanya Benedicto Klich
The Cannes Film Festival 2022: The Best Red Carpet Looks
Here's what everyone wore for the festival's 75th year.
By Sara Holzman
Why the Royals Have to Adhere to Strict Dining Rules, According to an Etiquette Expert
Imagine the infamy of sticking your pinky out when drinking tea, LOL.
By Iris Goldsztajn
30 Female-Friendly Porn Websites for Any Mood
All the best websites, right this way.
By Kayleigh Roberts
70 Cheap Date Ideas for Couples on a Budget
"Love don't cost a thing." —J.Lo
By The Editors
The 50 Best Vibrators, According to Sex Toy Experts
The most trusted source in feelin' yourself.
By Alanna Greco
Diary of a Non-Monogamist
Rachel Krantz, author of the new book 'Open,' shares the ups and downs of her journey into the world of open relationships.
By Abigail Pesta
The 16 Best Sex Games to Spice Up Date Night With
Game night, but make it hot.
By The Editors
71 Fun Date Ideas for 2022
Skip the old "dinner and a movie" for something original.
By Katherine J Igoe
COVID Forced My Polyamorous Marriage to Become Monogamous
For Melanie LaForce, pandemic-induced social distancing guidelines meant she could no longer see men outside of her marriage. But monogamy didn't just change her relationship with her husband—it changed her relationship with herself.
By Melanie LaForce
Four Flirting Fun Facts--With Research to Back Them Up!
My pal Judy Dutton just wrote an excellent new book: How We Do It: How the Science of Sex Can Make You a Better Lover. She's chatted with me about the psychological studies that show how best to flirt; what kind of pick-up lines work best; and what you're really saying with your body language.
By Maura Kelly