1. The Martini Man2. This guy who man-splained monogamy.3. This people-pleaser.4. The guy who witnessed the most embarrassing autocorrect typo of all time.5. This guy who was quick to call me tf out! Damn!6. Mr. Fifty Shades of Silver7. The guy with the panda suit.8. The (only) guy who figured it out9. The Shakespeare enthusiast10. The man who was...intrigued11. This ... guy12. This realist13. The "pro-dildo" guy14. The man who thought I was fake.15. This defeatist.
In a space already oversaturated with "heys" and low-stakes "lol sup" messages, coming up with the right thing to say on dating apps can be hard. How do you start a chill conversation without overthinking things?
Thanks to a general rut with *looks at hand* "casual dating", I decided to let Carrie Bradshaw run my dating life for a day. The rules were simple: I'd only talk to guys using the OG HBO queen's most iconic (or cringeworthy) lines. The results? Much like the show's breaking of the fourth wall, there were inconsistencies.
A very fair answer to an iconic line, tbh.
If a tree falls in a wood and no guys are there to unpack monogamy as a concept, did it really happen?
Thank you, I know it's asking a lot.
You and I both, buddy.
I respected him for calling me out until he circled back 21 hours later with that last bit.
Honestly, my own fault for expecting anything less from a dude who used ";)" and "Lol" (with a capital L — everyone knows "lol" lowercase is ironic and Cool)
Is the panda thing a race thing or what's up with that?
He negged me by calling me a Miranda and honestly, it worked. I gave him my number and he ended up facetiming me immediately so love is truly dead.
[image id='38c9feae-90c9-4a2a-8c26-b8f621b45694' mediaId='34900c5f-a27f-4956-a2e0-fb6109ce0f23' align='C' size='extrasmall' share='true' caption='' expand='true'][/image]
Cool...I too had to read Hamlet in the 10th grade.
I love when guys say fancy shit like "intrigued" online because you know IRL he doesn't even say anything when he flips you over halfway during sex. But yeah, tell me how intrigued you are, old sport.
A good...sport.
I mean, it's kinda true.
Bummer that I was in such a rush to whip out one of Carrie's infamous sex lines that I didn't even READ what he had said correctly. But good to know that this guy is proudly "pro-dildo". I don't know any women who are "anti-masturbation" for men, but plenty of guys who think they're special snowflakes for acknowledging that women masturbate.
No, sparkle-emoji-user, I am very real!
*Sigh*
In the end, I was thankful for Carrie's lines. Having a script erased a lot of the pressure I feel when trying to drum up conversation with a stranger. The experiment underlined the fact that most guys are at least willing to *try* with conversation — even if they're just doing their best to respond to weird, cryptic monologues. If so many people will vibe with Carrie's corny ass, it's not like I'm going to be hella judged if my opening joke doesn't land.
The emotional one-liners were also really fun, because who among us isn't looking for a soul mate? Women especially spend a lot of effort trying to look chill and casual ("Hahaha I also am dating like, six other people right now, lol, it's cool! Don't worry, I definitely did not talk about you like you were my boyfriend to my family or anything!"). Using Carrie's quotes was a fun way to vicariously live out any and all no-chill fantasies I had about leading with my true monogamous freak flag.
I will admit that I felt a little guilty about the experiment at first. I'm someone who is baseline always a little scared that guys are trolling me (Is every hot guy who's ever hooked up with me just doing so for some sick She's All That-like bet?). But then I remembered the guy who took Carrie's infamous "some women aren't meant to be tamed," line as an okay to segue into talking about handcuffs, and then I don't feel that bad.
Follow Marie Claire on Facebook for the latest celeb news, beauty tips, fascinating reads, livestream video, and more.
-
So You're Bringing a Plus One to a Wedding This Summer—Who Pays for What?With celebration season in full swing, here's how to map out who should be paying for what, long before you start mailing back those RSVPs.
-
Celebrity Makeup Artists Told Me Exactly How to Nail a Smokey Eye—And It Only Takes Five Steps
Easy-to-follow-steps and must-have products, brought to you by the pros.
-
My Bags Are Packed to Go OOO—These Are the Pieces I’m Bringing to Italy
“Sing to me, Paolo.”
-
The 22 Best Vibrators, According to Sex Toy Experts
The vibes are immaculate.
-
The Best Period Sex Tips, According to Sex Experts
Who says messy can't be sexy?
-
The 20 Best Sex Games for Couples in 2023
Who said game nights need to be wholesome?
-
The 14 Best Lubes of All Time
Good sex should always go smoothly.
-
30 Female-Friendly Porn Websites for Any Mood
All the best websites, right this way.
-
The 82 Best Cheap Date Ideas for Couples on a Budget
"Love don't cost a thing." —J.Lo
-
Diary of a Non-Monogamist
Rachel Krantz, author of the new book 'Open,' shares the ups and downs of her journey into the world of open relationships.
-
COVID Forced My Polyamorous Marriage to Become Monogamous
For Melanie LaForce, pandemic-induced social distancing guidelines meant she could no longer see men outside of her marriage. But monogamy didn't just change her relationship with her husband—it changed her relationship with herself.
