Social Tips for Your High School Reunion

Dignity 101

Filled with dread about bumping into bossy Becky Slater or overachiever Tracy Flick? We asked Anna Skinner, author of How to Pee Standing Up: Tips for Hip Chicks, how to get through cocktail hour when you're cornered by:

  • The queen bee who terrorized you from third grade straight through puberty.

    She's still a bully, only now in a power suit with a battered assistant. Say how great it is to see her before moving on--she doesn't need to know that flashbacks prompted by a Mean Girls screening gave you the night sweats.
  • The World Civ class hottie you considered a demigod.

    Odds are he's married or gay and still ignoring you. But if he's single, interested, and retainer-free, fake like you care when he waxes on about his trip to the Colosseum, then make like the Romans in the parking lot.
  • Your old lab partner.

    Give your personal Urkel a high five. You wouldn't have passed chemistry if she hadn't done the whole report while you washed the test tubes.
  • That jerk gym teacher who dated your recently divorced, very vulnerable mother and made your life hell junior year - and who still made you do the rope climb even though he knew you were scared of heights because your mom told him so over dinner that week.

    Walk away.
  • The sorority sister you don't have anything in common with anymore.

    In fact, you actually have three things in common: You're female, you're older, and you're here at this reunion. Break out Gamma Gamma Gamma chants and secret handshakes - besides, she's the only one who remembers you in all your keg-stand glory from rush week.
  • The class prez - turned - community college dropout.

    Put away that pity smile - this gal deserves a gold medal for showing up. And because she's still a local, she's the perfect person to give up all the juicy goss. Who knew the student-council treasurer was running a Weeds-like pot ring?
  • The boastful 27-year-old self-made millionaire you rejected junior year.

    Accept it, congratulate him, then ask him to fund your start-up.

What do you think?