Hello, my lovelies: So, I went ahead with your advice
and saw the hard-hat hottie
for a movie Tuesday night. And my goodness, he IS adorably cute! And THIS is the benefit to real-life dating, as opposed to Internet personals: When you meet someone in real life and he asks you out, you KNOW right off the bat whether he's cute.
And this guy, physically? I think he's the bee's knees. Right down to his style: He was wearing a navy-plaid cowboy shirt, jeans and khaki-plaid sneakers. We had fun whispering about the flick we saw ("Every Little Step," a GREAT documentary about "A Chorus Line"). And though it was too late to do anything afterwards, he initiated a smooch--one of the more awkward smooches of all time, I must say, which deserves its own entry--and said he'd call soon. I also happened to bump into today, once again, as I was on my way to my shrink's office (He's overseeing a project on her street, as you might remember.) That seemed to go fairly well, too, although I had to cut it off to get to my shrink on time--at which point I initiated a good-bye hug.
Um, have I mentioned how CUTE he is? He's got floppy, sandy-brown hair that he parts on the side, which is just the tiniest bit too long, and although he's 42--much older than I usually go!--he looks about 25. Today, he was wearing this mustard-colored Carhartt shirt-jacket which was even sexier than his plaid of last night.
So, I have a little crush--even though I can't imagine anything too serious or long-term would come of this.
Yet ... that hasn't stopped me, already, from getting anxious over the whole thing. Like, I've actually been thinking it's a bad sign that, even though we SAW each other today, he didn't call. And I"ve also been wondering if it's a bad sign that he didn't already suggest doing something over the weekend?
I know, I know: I'm a neurotic. In fact, I was recently told by my friend Daisy Milliner's mother--who is a psychotherapist--that my biggest problem, when it comes to relationship-finding, is that I'm too anxious about it. I'll abstain here from saying I can't help it! But I will say it's tough to control my anxieties when it comes to dating. After all, I've had so many failures and disappointments in the past ... But all right, really, I should buck up. (And perhaps get a prescription to Xanax.) Because plenty of things have worked out, too, haven't they?
Today, I'll sign off with some advice from Derek Rake, who writes a blog called Zen & The Art of Seduction.
I'd contacted him in the hopes of getting some flirting advice from him. (Most of it was surprisingly similar to what Neil Strauss had to say.) But Rake, too, like my friend Mike Parkwood
, said that desperation might very well be the least attractive quality of all time. "It is key not to come off as super needy," Rake advises. "Humans can detect insecurity a mile away--and it's the number one attraction killer." If that's the case, I wanted to know, how am I supposed to remain calm and cool? "Just think of what comes next--but don't go beyond that, into the future," Rake replied. "Remember that seduction is a linear process, and you only need to take one step at a time."
All right, Derek. I'll try! Enjoy your days.
*****PS!!**** BREAKING NEWS! I have a new essay up on The Daily Beast ... about learning how to orgasm, finally, at age 30.