The 20 Funniest Women On Twitter

This guy I'm dating is basically a prince (he lives with his parents)August 20, 2014

Having a cold while being pregnant is like getting a parking ticket while you’re at the dentist.August 7, 2014

"I'm not friends with girls. I just get along better with guys!" TRANSLATION "I will absolutely try to have sex with your boyfriend."August 20, 2014

What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed? Oh sheet. #ClassicJokeWednesdayAugust 21, 2014

My weekends are mostly spent being sad the 90s are overAugust 17, 2014

A TSA worker just growled at me to "turn your necklace onto your back" and it was confusing/felt like an erotic commandAugust 21, 2014

Note to ALL people who design cars: STOP IGNORING WOMEN'S PURSES AND GIVE US A PLACE TO PUT THEM THAT'S NOT OUR PASSENGER'S LAP THX #tgifJune 28, 2014

I like you if every song is about you even the ones that make no sense like losing my religionAugust 16, 2014

Sometimes I think "I need to think before I speak" and then other times I think "I shouldn't leave the house or interact with people ever."August 4, 2014

Is there anything so dangerous as a person who says "I am a good person" full stop.June 22, 2014

They say behind every great man is a great woman... But behind every great woman is Yoda. 🙏July 14, 2014

I will never wear a bikini but weirdly will proudly wear a zero-piece swimsuit.August 20, 2014

I like pretending Hollywood is a real placeAugust 20, 2014

Walked in to find this in my trailer. Uhhhhh #DoMyBreffStank? pic.twitter.com/hBLTkjTN5dAugust 14, 2014

What to do when the sound of silence is a very high-pitched ringAugust 8, 2014