1. How long can I hide upstairs before it's no longer socially acceptable?
2. If Uncle Arnold eats the last serving of that stuffing he's toast.
3. What's the "nog" in eggnog?
4. How many times am I going to have to field the "So, why aren't you dating anyone?" questions tonight?
5. Where are my stretchy pants?
6. How sparkly is too sparkly for New Year's Eve?
7. When will we all learn that talking about politics at the dinner table is a very bad idea.
8. I'm going to just sit at the kids table and hope no one notices.
9. Is it my job to clear the table and wash the dishes?
10. Should I wear makeup so my relatives think I'm presentable and put-together or should I show them who I really am?
11. Are these people really related to me? They're all insane.
12. How old is that mall santa?
13. Oh no, Aunt Judy is drunk again.
14. I wonder how many servings of hors d'oeuvres I can eat before someone cuts me off.
15. No grandma, I'm still not going on a blind date with your friend's banker grandson. He's boring.