Okay, this Omarosa firing story is wild. It's out of control. It's cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. It's B-A-N-A-N-A-S. And I cannot get enough of it.
We should have known that when we (they, not me) elected the guy who thought "Firing! But for no reason! And an hour long every week!" should be a TV show, that the White House would become the Olympics of messy, dramatic exits. But this is just beyond.
Who knew, when first watching Omarosa Manigault take the first season of The Apprentice by storm in 2004, that one day I would be gleefully eating up every morsel of news about her rumored forced removal from the White House after trying to break into the president's house?
Is this is the natural life cycle of a reality star these days. Iain from The Great British Bake-Off is currently scaling the wall at Buckingham Palace.
Okay. So there are "facts" and then there are "things that probably happened." Omarosa showed up on Good Morning America with Michael Strahan today and gave a truly wild interview, which we'll get to in one second. But first, we need backstory on this. Sarah Huckabee Sanders says Omarosa resigned. Omarosa says that she and General John Kelly decided she'd explore other opportunities. But folks are out here telling a very different story about what really went down.
I’ll take “They’re Out Here Saying” for $600, Alex.
I don’t have any first hand accounts so I’m just going to tell you what the word on the street is. And then we’ll talk. This is just what I heard.
According to journalist April Ryan, American Urban Radio Networks., broke the story yesterday in a series of breathless tweets and a full report on
According to Ryan, Omarosa was confronted by General John Kelly about her walk-in privileges with the president. Ryan reports that Omarosa was incensed about Kelly's incursion and contended that she brought the black vote to Trump.
Ryan then reports that Omarosa tried to break into the White House residence to speak with Trump, at which point she was removed by the Secret Service.
Last night, Ryan, the Brenda Starr of juicy drama, received a correction from the Secret Service contending that they did not perform the removal. They did not say who did.
And that's where we are, today, in John Quincy Adams' America.
That's what they're out here saying.
I just have a couple of questions.
First of all, Omarosa brought the black vote to Trump? All six of them? Flag on the play. I object.
Second, let's get into this John Kelly altercation. On Good Morning America, Omarosa spun a very different tale from April Ryan's. But, this Michael Strahan interview... Child... I'm already exhausted.
Omarosa says that she didn't have a public blow out with Kelly but rather that they sat down in the Situation Room. The Situation Room! "Sorry, can you take this call with Kim Jong-un in the hall? We need to hash out an HR issue."
The Situation Room! I literally cannot. She's telling us that John Kelly scanned his retina and entered a soundproof, bombproof room so that he could fire a reality show contestant? Honey, she needs to harness that audacity; it could power the Eastern seaboard.
To be honest, I've been watching Omarosa deliver boldfaced inaccuracies with flat affect and measured delivery since her Apprentice days, but this is just beyond. The Situation Room! I am agog. I am incandescent with shock.
After the talking with Kelly in a nuclear bunker, Omarosa reportedly stormed across the White House grounds and tried to break into the President's house like she was Swim Fan. America is wild! A woman tried to break into the White House residence and the next day appeared on morning television. Congratulations, we have reached full dystopia.
I don't know what she thought she was going to accomplish running up in Trump's house in the middle of the night like the Ghost of Christmas Past. She'd have better luck showing up on Fox & Friends and speaking directly into the camera slowly enough for him to transcribe it into a tweet.
But what do I know? I'm not a former advisor to the President who thought it would be a good idea to burgle my boss' house.
For all the things one can take Omarosa to task with (and they are manifold) you have to be awed by her game. She has risen from four-time loser of The Apprentice to a member of B-613, apparently.
And, it should be noted, that while many contend that Omarosa didn't do very much in her role as the Office of Public Liaison communication’s chief, she clearly did what she came to do. True, her job was to drum up public support for the president's agenda and that... very much did not happen. But, during her time in the White House she did reportedly stage her wedding photos at the White House, without permission, hold a bridal luncheon at the White House, make the maximum salary possible for a WH staffer, $179,900, and, in the end, wind up on Good Morning America talking about how she got fired in the Situation Room as if we don't watch The West Wing and know the real tea!
So you tell me, did she lose her job or has Omarosa, a professional reality television star, been working us all along?
USA! USA! USA!
Follow R. Eric Thomas on Twitter.