We consider ourselves pretty much professionals when it comes to shopping. (You should see us at a sample sale.) But Black Friday takes the sport to a whole other level of competitive. Unless you're a fan of massive crowds, endless lines, and all-around aggressive behavior in the name of scoring a deal, you probably fall into the category of people who prefer to do your holiday shopping from the safety of the Internet, probably cozied up on the couch with a glass of wine in hand. (Last year, a reported 12% of Thanksgiving shoppers admitted to purchasing under the influence of alcohol.)
This year, lazy/boozy Black Friday-ers can snag all the too-cheap-to-pass-up cosmetic sets, kitschy animal onesies, and totally unnecessary but LOL stocking stuffers our impulse-purchasing hearts desire—all with a single intoxicated text. DrunkMall, the website that caters to shoppers of the non-sober variety, is making it even easier to make post-Pinot purchases with DrunkPhone. Just text any number from 1 to 10 to the number "347-WASTED-4" (347-927-8334) and you'll get a text in reply with a suggested item the DrunkPhone elves think you might like.
Dangerous? Yes. Awesome? Also yes.
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![ABC's "The Bachelorette" - Season 14](https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/images/gettyimages-1005676732.jpg?crop=1.00xw:0.752xh;0,0.0553xh&resize=480:* "ABC's "The Bachelorette" - Season 14")
