America Is Great: You Can Do Your Black Friday Shopping Via Drunk Text

Bottoms up!

We consider ourselves pretty much professionals when it comes to shopping (opens in new tab). (You should see us at a sample sale.) But Black Friday (opens in new tab) takes the sport to a whole other level of competitive. Unless you're a fan of massive crowds, endless lines, and all-around aggressive behavior in the name of scoring a deal (opens in new tab), you probably fall into the category of people who prefer to do your holiday shopping from the safety of the Internet, probably cozied up on the couch with a glass of wine in hand. (Last year, a reported (opens in new tab) 12% of Thanksgiving shoppers admitted to purchasing under the influence of alcohol.)

This year, lazy/boozy Black Friday-ers can snag all the too-cheap-to-pass-up cosmetic sets, kitschy animal onesies, and totally unnecessary but LOL stocking stuffers our impulse-purchasing hearts desire—all with a single intoxicated text (opens in new tab). DrunkMall, the website that caters to shoppers of the non-sober variety, is making it even easier to make post-Pinot purchases with DrunkPhone (opens in new tab). Just text any number from 1 to 10 to the number "347-WASTED-4" (347-927-8334) and you'll get a text in reply with a suggested item the DrunkPhone elves think you might like.

Dangerous? Yes. Awesome? Also yes.

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I am an experienced editor, writer, and creative strategist, specializing in fashion, beauty, and lifestyle content for digital media outlets, as well as video and social platforms. While I currently operate as a freelance contributor/consultant, with such clients as The Zoe Report, my 10+-year background in the industry was cultivated at the dot-coms of elite publications, including Harper’s BAZAAR, ELLE, and Marie Claire.