Netflix has finally blessed fans with four movie-length installments of brand-new Gilmore Girls. To celebrate, I hunkered down with biscotti, Pop Tarts, and a huge mug of black coffee, and binge-watched the whole thing in the space of roughly eight hours. Here are 120 thoughts that went through my brain during that magical time.
Episode One - Winter
1. I can't believe this is happening IT'S FINALLY HERE.
2. Huh, bit of a trippy beginning with iconic Gilmore Girls quotes echoing over a black screen. Is somebody in a coma? Is this meant to be Richard's dying moments? :(
3. Oh God, what if it's bad? It has to be better than season seven.
4. Stars Hollow sure looks pretty and shiny and a little overly saturated in HD digital, and of course there is no cellphone reception there.
5. Lorelai saying "I smell snow" is a cute callback, but also doesn't really make sense when they're literally surrounded by snow. Wasn't her whole thing that she could smell snow before it fell?
6. Of course Kirk has a pet pig named Petal and a ride-share service called Ooober.
7. I wonder whereabouts in Brooklyn Rory's creepy apartment with the sticky wall was. It doesn't exactly seem like she's raking in the dough, so how far out would she have to be in order to afford her own place? Crown Heights? Bay Ridge?
8. WAIT. Rory has a boyfriend?!?
9. I'm confused about super-forgettable Paul on many levels — does he live here or in New York? He and Rory barely see each other, but they've been together for two years? I like that Amy Sherman-Palladino is just openly being like "Yup. This guy exists. We all know it's not gonna last."
10. So… Rory's career is not going well. She's fronting, but nobody ever says "I have a lot of irons in the fire" unless they have literally no irons in the fire.
11. Awww, Luke is so proud of Rory that he laminated her New Yorker piece on the back of the diner menu.
12. OMG YES, MICHEL HAS A HUSBAND. God bless you, Netflix. I will forever be bitter at the WB for keeping him in the closet for seven damn seasons.
13. Arrrrgh, Richard's funeral flashbacks. Not emotionally prepared for this. They're listening to "Blackbird"because it was one of Richard's favorites and ... yup, I'm tearing up.
14. Luke quietly fixing the loose screw during the wake. 😍
15. Lorelai not being able to tell a nice story about her dad is awful — just come up with something FFS — but Emily really put her on the spot with this. This scene is so painful to watch.
16. But not as painful to watch as the scene that follows. This Lorelai/Emily fight is so raw and ugly, and feels like a place they could never quite have gone to on network television. You can see both sides of it, but Emily is a lot more vicious than Lorelai, who's tearful and sincerely apologizing. This basically feels like years of pent-up resentment finally spilling out: "You have nothing but contempt for this family" doesn't come out of a single evening. Oof.
17. "I just lost my husband." "I just lost my father." This is so horribly truthful. People can become the worst versions of themselves when they're grieving, and engage in these weird games of emotional one-upmanship over who's hurting more.
18. Rory's being kind of hard on Lorelai in the present day too — she knows it was bad that she didn't come up with a story! Give her a break!
19. Did Emily just reference Inside Llewyn Davis? All is forgiven.
20. Paris is Luke and Lorelai's fertility doctor!!! This is horrifying for them and amazing for us — and at least they get a deep discount out of it.
21. "Just from a cursory glance you seem symmetrical, and well balanced." Dead now. RIP me. Give Paris her own spinoff please.
22. LOGAN!!!! Rory is with Logan? Wait. Wait wait wait. She has a boyfriend in Stars Hollow and a boyfriend in London? She's lying to Lorelai about staying with Logan, so I guess it's more of a transatlantic friends with benefits thing. I love how hard the Palladinos trolled everyone with their whole "Rory will be single in the revival!" thing.
23. Paris and Doyle split, but Lane is still stuck with Zack? This is the darkest timeline. And Doyle has apparently become a douchey Hollywood screenwriter, which is a nice little nod to Danny Strong's actual career trajectory. (Screenwriter, not douche.)
24. Lorelai and Emily going to therapy together is potentially the greatest idea ever. I would watch an entire season of In Treatment in which Gabriel Byrne treated various Gilmore Girls characters. Make that crossover happen, Netflix.
25. I know it's meant to be a joke, but Rory does not "keep forgetting" to break up with Paul. She knows the thing with Logan is kind of tenuous and uncertain, and she's the kind of girl who always wants a guy on standby. I think I might hate 2016 Rory?
Episode Two – Spring
26. Mrs. Kim has literally not aged A DAY. And I guess it's nice that Hep Alien are still together and still jammin', but I'm forever sad about Lane's lame ending.
27. I see you, writers. Trying to make me like 2016 Rory more by pairing her with a way more annoying person in Naomi Shropshire. Alex Kingston is really fun in this role …
28. "I'm voting for Brexit. It's just a protest vote, it'll never win." KILL HER RORY. KILL HER WITH FIRE.
29. Oh Lord. So Logan is engaged and yet Rory's still sleeping with him? Guys … I don't think it counts as no-strings sex when you're both cheating on other people. Logan doesn't surprise me, but did Rory learn nothing from the whole Dean mess? Also, this is the girl Logan wanted to marry in season seven, but now he's fine with them being fuck-buddies and she's the one who seems more invested? This version of their relationship doesn't really seem to track with their history.
30. Haha, is this a town hall meeting all about the lack of LGBT representation in Stars Hollow? Yay for tacit confirmation that Gypsy is gay too, although everybody in the town is too dense to realize it!
31. The real Paul Anka is in Lorelai's dream! I'm not sure if this is what she meant when she said she was "feeling her mortality," but the weird dreams have to be leading up to some kind of turning point.
32. "Play him some Skrillex — that always calms him." I love the weird specificity of this line re Michel.
33. Wow, did Lorelai just use this poor chef as a sounding board for all her problems and then fire her? This revival better not turn me against Lorelai too — I've had my issues with Rory all along but I will defend Lorelai forever.
34. Emily inviting Luke over for this terrifying dinner and handing over the contents of Richard's terrifying file is actually, in her terrifying way, kind of touching. I'm really enjoying Scott Patterson's 👀 faces.
35. Kirk's avant-garde movie about the death of Petal is less weird than at least half the offerings at your average short film festival.
36. "Now, I'm not in the habit of quoting Joseph Stalin…" Never change, Paris.
37. Emily is really, really preoccupied with this whole Luke-Lorelai marriage thing. Which is a little weird, given how hard she tried to split them up back when they first got together, but I guess it only took her a decade to get onboard the ship?
38. OMG they re-cast Tristan, just as those casting spoilers suggested! That is no Chad Michael Murray. Seriously, Agent Carter is over — he couldn't have put in an appearance?
39. Aw, Paris. It seems weird that she would still be hung up on her teenage crush, but reunions can really play on all your high school issues. I'd forgotten how heartbreakingly insecure Paris actually was — "the amazing insignificant invisible girl" :( — and as Rory points out, she's also going through a divorce. I love everything about this Rory/Paris bathroom scene, and everything about that friendship. #TeamParis
40. Hmmm, I … feel like maybe I can see Rory teaching at Chilton, actually? That makes more sense to me for her than journalism, but she doesn't seem convinced.
41. This Conde Nast meeting is really well written, because it's not like doors are slamming in Rory's face —it's understated. The editors like her, they think her writing is good, but she also just doesn't really have anything to bring to the table. She's under-prepared, and doesn't seem to have pitches, and they're encouraging but too busy to remember her for long.
42. I do like how Rory immediately bounces back and starts chasing the next story. She's gutsy and determined and doesn't have any attitude about working on spec, but it doesn't seem like she's built much in the way of a reputation or contacts over the past nine years, if she still has to ask Mitchum Huntzberger for favors. Does she not have any editors at Slate or The Atlantic or The New Yorker? Somebody must have commissioned her?!
43. Lauren Graham hooking Mae Whitman up with a crodocake — a croissant donut cake, I guess — is adorable. And Lorelai just breezily getting whatever she wants without having to wait in line is a nice comment on the special-snowflake syndrome that some people dislike about her.
44. Rory just FELL ASLEEP during an interview, which is heinous, but I guess really hammers home the point of just how unengaged she is by journalism at this point. This whole storyline sort of feels like it was written for a younger version of Rory to me? She's regressed a lot.
45. "I slept with a Wookie!" Don't buy this at all. Also don't care because this Rory/Lorelai debrief afterwards is so hilarious.
46. "Life has been pretty good to you so far, it was your turn for a few curveballs" — ding ding ding ding!
47. I'm not totally clear what kind of website Sandy Says is a riff on… Logan says it's kind of catty and gossipy, but it's a startup so not equivalent to an Us Weekly or even a Gawker (RIP). In any case, Rory has been a snob about it all episode long, and now is finally going to the interview.
48. …Yup. That's what happens when you go to a job interview as a journalist with zero pitches, Rory. She really just expected to stroll in there and be handed the job. Growing up in Stars Hollow where she was treated like the town princess clearly messed with Rory's head. So … moving back there seems like a great plan!
Episode Three – Summer
49. "To Noam is to love him — I just got that!" I never hated April Nardini as much as most fans seem to, and this whole bit is cute.
50. Rory, girl. I get that you're going through a thing, but you … really just don't get to be pissy about the fact that Logan's fiancé has moved in with him. This is just like when she was calling Dean "my Dean" in season five, despite the fact he was married.
51. Haha, Luke falling asleep while Lorelai binge-watches TV is a convincing little snapshot of their relationship.
52. Poolside Rory and Lorelai are my least favorite Rory and Lorelai. This whole Southern belles bit is not cute.
53. YAS, rock those bathing shorts Michel! He, like Mrs. Kim, has barely aged.
54. Michel telling Lorelai he's leaving the inn, and both of them trying not to cry. They're succeeding. I'm not.
55. Halt and Catch Fire! Nice that Rory's up to date on AMC's deeper cuts.
56. We're meant to find Rory working at the Stars Hollow Gazette depressing, right? Like, this isn't going to be the career move that saves her, so much as the nail in her journalism coffin.
57. I like that Rory is concerned for Emily and taking time to check on her, because Emily sleeping until noon is legit cause for alarm.
58. Hmmm, Lorelai realizing that she's the only person in the room not charmed by "Stars Hollow: The Musical" is pretty telling. She used to be all about the town and its weird kooky events, even as she simultaneously acknowledged that it was all dumb. Is she finally getting sick of Stars Hollow altogether? What if this whole series ends with Lorelai leaving town and Rory sticking around???
59. I share Lorelai's feelings about "Stars Hollow: The Musical." This entire sequence is way, way too long, and this episode overall feels like the most slow and over-indulgent to me.
60. JESS!!!! His entrance was weirdly unceremonious — did Rory know he was coming? For not having seen him in four years, she doesn't seem that excited or surprised.
61. I can't stop thinking about how Alexis and Milo's IRL relationship supposedly ended really badly, because this feels like she doesn't want to be anywhere near him. She's like "I'll do a scene, but only if there is an ENORMOUS DESK physically between us the entire time."
62. Aw, I like that Rory hasn't seen Jess in years and yet feels totally comfortable freaking out in front of him about her career. But how does she have no credit? She rented an apartment in New York with no credit score? So much about her life situation makes no sense to me.
63. Jess is a GODDAMN HERO for ripping that cap off Luke's head and throwing it away.
64. "Teen Mom Lorelai Gilmore Arrives In Stars Hollow". Is it … weird that this made the local paper?
65. Yeesh, of course Rory's pitch for writing a book about them wasn't going to go down well with Lorelai. It is Lorelai's story more than Rory's, and certainly the more interesting side of it is Lorelai's — I'm not sure how compelling Rory's childhood memories would be as a memoir.
66. This fight isn't as painful as the Lorelai/Emily one, but it's still so complex and rooted in the show's history. When Rory says "I need this! Give me this!" it's like… Lorelai literally gave you everything, Rory. This is pretty much the first time she's put herself first.
67. Rory can't be satisfied with Lorelai saying "Do whatever you want" — she has to try and force Lorelai to be happy about it. She wants to go against Lorelai's wishes but also still feel good about herself, instead of just accepting that she's doing a selfish thing for her own personal gain.
68. Oh GOD, and now a fight with Luke? "Summer" is literally just Lorelai's life crumbling one thing at a time.
69. "She knows I'm a writer! She knows everything is fodder!" As a writer, this annoys me so much — not everything in your life is fodder, Rory, unless you're a sociopath. "Writing what you know" doesn't have to mean literally writing a memoir.
70. Lane is still co-signing Rory's bullshit. She did this a lot in the series, but I wish she'd push back a little more now that she's a grown-ass woman with a family of her own. It's so clear from Rory's story that she was out of line.
71. Hmm, okay, so Rory actually knows deep down that she was in the wrong. She just wants this really, really badly, which is fair enough. Maybe Lane knew she'd get there on her own.
72. LOVE Lane yelling at Logan, even though poor Logan really hasn't done anything wrong (besides cheat on his fiancé for months, obvs). Can this please be an end to the sad Rory/Logan mess?
73. This "I'm Not Unbreakable" song is spine-tingling and single-handedly justifying the existence of "Stars Hollow: The Musical" (so of course Taylor and the rest of the townies think it's "a bore"). And it's not too ridiculously specific to Lorelai's situation, so much as just evoking a general sense of "how did my life turn out this way?"
74. I actually wish Rory were in this scene, because if anything this song seems more applicable to her life than Lorelai's. But Lorelai needs her breakthrough moment, so it works.
75. "I need to tell you something." Yeesh. I'm guessing the last time Luke heard this from Lorelai was right before "I slept with Christopher".
Episode Four – Fall
76. Maybe I should hike the Pacific Crest Trail.
77. Oh, nah. Watching Lorelai reenact Cheryl Strayed's backpack struggle is reminding me of all the reasons I will probably never do that.
78. "Kick Up A Rumpus"… Oh jesus, this is going to be some Life And Death Brigade nonsense, isn't it? 😐
79. I love Luke and Jess's relationship. I also love that Jess has grown up from the selfish little punk he used to be, and notices Luke is not okay and can be like "Talk to me."
80. "Now I'm a guy who snipes at his girl and uses the word 'oops'!" Luke's midlife crisis is charmingly low-key.
81. Why is Luke not putting his foot down with the stingy laptoppers? I feel like the old Luke would not have stood for this bagel-split-four-ways crap.
82. Is… Is Rory having a psychotic episode? This whole street sequence with the talking bird and the flickering lights feels like she's on the brink of a Black Swan break.
83. Nope. It's even worse. I barely tolerated the Life and Death Brigade and their dumb privileged antics when they were a glorified college fraternity, but now Colin, Finn, and Robert are all thirty-something and STILL pulling this shit? Am I dead inside? Should I be finding this adorable?
84. All of that being said, the LADB loving Kirk's pig movie just earned them a few brownie points.
85. "Are you really gonna marry Odette?" "That's the dynastic plan." Again, I don't understand this version of Rory and Logan. I remember reading an interview where Amy Sherman-Palladino said there was one aspect of Rory's season-seven storyline she planned to ignore in the revival, so I'm wondering if she meant Logan's proposal? It seems like the fact that he once proposed to Rory would have come up otherwise, especially when she keeps making it clear that she doesn't want him to marry Odette. And it seems like Logan is just choosing to ignore Rory's really obvious hints that she wants him back. Is he just not that into her any more? Does he actually love this Odette girl we never get to meet? Is he really that invested in his family's "dynastic plan"?
86. Okay fine, Finn saying "Hello, darling" to the stag's head got a LOL from me.
87. Why… why is Rory doing this whole big Wizard of Oz emotional goodbye with the Life And Death Brigade? She didn't even like them very much — as far as I remember, her last scene with Finn and Colin was her yelling at them for being jerks in the hospital after Logan's accident. And they clearly haven't changed much since that.
88. Rory and Logan's goodbye, though. :( I don't think they have much chemistry, but whenever he calls her "Ace" I have a lot of feelings.
89. "I didn't punch a bear. It was a possum. And he had it coming" – Actual cry-laughing. I love Wild, and I love how hard the show is committing to this extended Wild bit.
90. Wait, is that Peter Krause playing the trail ranger? YAS! Aw, Lauren Graham got her boyf a cameo. Although does this mean Six Feet Under doesn't exist in the Gilmore Girls universe?
91. Oh gahhhd, Lorelai is only just beginning her story about Richard and I know it's going to hurt. He definitely struggled with showing affection, but he could be such a sweetheart and he obviously loved his girls so much.
92. Lauren Graham is destroying this tearful monologue, and also me. He gave her a pretzel and took her to a double-bill and covered for her with Emily. 😭
93. "Thank you, Lorelai." 😭 😭 😭
94. Luke is SO sweet in this scene. The stakes are kind of low because there's never any doubt that him and Lorelai are going to end up together, but it's still nice to have a reminder of just how devoted Luke is (and always has been, except for that weird period in season six that I like to forget ever happened).
95. I love that Rory is like "No, Logan, I don't need your fancy house to write in, because my family already has an even fancier house lying empty in Hartford!" Privilege makes it easy to be an independent woman, tbh.
96. "Now. Your name is Molly. …Why?" Haha. Michel is never actually going to leave the Dragonfly, is he?
97. I don't know how I feel about Rory writing Gilmore Girls. I'm not a big fan of these meta plot turns in general, and I'm finding it hard to imagine how the story of Rory and Lorelai really works as a novel. The TV show is so much about the rhythms of the dialogue and the rambling small-town charm, which … I guess could be a novel? As memoirs go, the story of a middle-class single mother and her bookworm daughter does not seem that exceptional to me. Why is Rory taking "write what you know" so literally, instead of using Lorelai's story to inspire something fictional?
98. Emily's yawning, eye-rolling and shady cookie-eating during this bimbo's DAR interview is EVERYTHING.
99. "We need to make sure that suit hugs only the things that need hugging!" Guess Miss Celine had a hand in Jon Hamm's costuming when he went on that one date with Lorelai.
100. "Five by five." Okay, Rory may have just redeemed herself entirely to me by quoting Faith and referencing her Buffy marathon. She's also kind of styled like Eliza Dushku as Faith in this scene.
101. I really like that Rory is finally calling Chris on his absence, and asking why he didn't fight harder to be in her life. He had never even been to Stars Hollow until season one, and yet for some reason he got a free pass on that throughout most of the series.
102. Aw, Emily selling that house is so poignant but also so fitting. It's way too big a house for one person to rattle around in alone, and it's too full of memories. I get why Lorelai is freaked out, about this and about Henry, but she needs to let her mom move on.
103. I have NEVER liked Dean anywhere near as much as in this scene. He's so mature and kind of self-deprecating and seems to have become a total family man. And much as I didn't like Dean and Rory as a couple, this is such cute closure for them – "You taught me what safe feels like."
104. YAAS, SOOKIE! Of course she made ALL of the wedding cakes for Lorelai. It's sad that Melissa McCarthy could only do this one scene, but actually I think Sookie works better in small doses. Her friendship with Lorelai is so sweet here.
105. Emily finding a new calling at the Whaling Museum… Sure! Why not?
106. This Luke/Jess/Kirk/Rory/Lorelai scene at the house really makes them feel like a kind of ramshackle family unit. It's adorable, and I guess Rory and Jess have been discussing her book more off-screen?
107. Jess is, of course, not over Rory at all. Seems like Luke still ships it too.
108. Luke and Lorelai eloping is the MOST perfect thing. They were always so low-key, so of course they want to get officially married with just the two of them and Rory.
109. "Let the boy sleep." Aww. Kirk is such a weirdo but also such a sweetheart, being so worried that he screwed up the wedding decorations. I love when he's part of the fold as opposed to just being made fun of 24/7.
110. OH MY GOD THEY'RE PLAYING THE SONG. THE SONG THAT LUKE AND LORELAI DANCED TO DURING THE MOST ROMANTIC SCENE EVER IN SEASON FOUR. CANNOT. COPE. ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ (Ahem. The song in question is "Reflecting Light" by Sam Philips, and I'm fine.)
111. Oh FFS, now Emily is blowing a kiss to Richard's portrait and Luke/Lorelai/Rory are all dancing together and I AM NOT FINE.
112. This nighttime wedding is so perfect, and also I guess a machination to get around the fact that they couldn't line up everyone's schedules to shoot a big wedding scene. It would have been weird for Sookie not to be there, for one thing.
113. I don't feel like Lorelai would take Luke's name (especially not now that Rory's book is expanding the Gilmore brand), but would she consider a Gilmore-Danes situation? That's got a ring to it.
114. "I thought I'd be the spinster daughter who stays home forever and looks after mama." "No, I've got Kirk for that."
115. Oh my God, Rory STILL hasn't broken up with Paul? In fairness, Paul sounded pretty checked out from that text message — this feels like a really weird non-event to include in the final scene.
119. Okay. Rory is pregnant with Logan's kid. That is how we're ending things. She's the same age here as Lorelai was in the pilot, so it's sort of full circle. I am still in shock.
120. So. On the one hand, I feel like Logan would definitely leave Odette if he found out that Rory was pregnant with his child… but then again, would he? We don't really know why he hasn't already left Odette for Rory, since she clearly wants him to. How does the "dynastic plan" feel about an illegitimate child?
I think Amy Sherman-Palladino has described Logan as "Rory's Christopher" before. So if she's going to have his baby and raise it alone, does that make Jess — the supportive guy carrying a quiet torch for Rory — her Luke?
God DAMNIT, and just like that, the great shipping debate will rage on for another decade.