The Best Worst Lines From 'The Bachelorette' Premiere

"I’m a lucky bird and Becca’s a cool chick."

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The Bachelorette is back! Based on the first episode, this season looks like it's going to be a doozy (and tell me that preview of what's coming up didn't make you want to go check Reality Steve immediately. WHO GOES TO THE HOSPITAL?!?! IS COLTON A VIRGIN?!?! Anyway...): The costumes, the man-drama, the many mentions of Becca's ex, and the lines—oh the lines. These men came prepared. Here, a ranking of the lines that were delivered during premiere, from the best-worst to the plain old worst-worst:

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1 My brand is the pensive gentleman. —Jordan
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2 Being a model is about more than being ridiculously good-looking. You’re talking gym year-round, tan year-round, salt spray year-round, it’s incredibly taxing. —Jordan
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3 ​ I wanted Becca to hear the tapping of the shoes I wore because that’s like the heartbeat of a gentleman. —Jordan
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4 This guy is a smooth criminal. I thought I dropped my playbook. Like I thought I dropped it and he picked it up and pulled her out and I was like this guy right here, where did I put my playbook? —Jordan
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5 First up, put some socks on, okay? —Jordan
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6 You’re wearing a chicken suit, dude, don’t talk to me. You almost got feathers in my coffee, just stop. —Jordan
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7 When a guy tells you he’s going to jump over the moon for you, I mean it. —Chris, the Harlem Globetrotter
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8 I’m a Colognoisseur…She needs a man that smells good—and I’m going to blow her nose away. —Jean Blanc
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9 Looking out at a sea of highway patrol officers, you're wondering if she didn’t feel me. —Leo
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10 There’s the old stench of competition in the air and its going to get stinkier as the night goes on. —Leo
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11 I’m a lucky bird and Becca’s a cool chick. —David, the chicken
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12 I just want you to know my feelings are as strong as an ox. —Blake
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13 I play football and I’ve caught a lot of passes in my day, but if I were to land you, you’d by far be the biggest catch of my life. —Clay
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14 I hope you’re as good of a catch as they say you are. —Garrett
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15 Women. —Chase
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16 Let's Do the Damn Thing. —Literally Everybody
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