The Best Worst Lines From 'The Bachelorette' Premiere

"I’m a lucky bird and Becca’s a cool chick."

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The Bachelorette is back! Based on the first episode, this season looks like it's going to be a doozy (and tell me that preview of what's coming up didn't make you want to go check Reality Steve immediately. WHO GOES TO THE HOSPITAL?!?! IS COLTON A VIRGIN?!?! Anyway...): The costumes, the man-drama, the many mentions of Becca's ex, and the lines—oh the lines. These men came prepared. Here, a ranking of the lines that were delivered during premiere, from the best-worst to the plain old worst-worst:

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1 My brand is the pensive gentleman. —Jordan
2 Being a model is about more than being ridiculously good-looking. You’re talking gym year-round, tan year-round, salt spray year-round, it’s incredibly taxing. —Jordan
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3 ​ I wanted Becca to hear the tapping of the shoes I wore because that’s like the heartbeat of a gentleman. —Jordan
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4 This guy is a smooth criminal. I thought I dropped my playbook. Like I thought I dropped it and he picked it up and pulled her out and I was like this guy right here, where did I put my playbook? —Jordan
5 First up, put some socks on, okay? —Jordan
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6 You’re wearing a chicken suit, dude, don’t talk to me. You almost got feathers in my coffee, just stop. —Jordan
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7 When a guy tells you he’s going to jump over the moon for you, I mean it. —Chris, the Harlem Globetrotter
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8 I’m a Colognoisseur…She needs a man that smells good—and I’m going to blow her nose away. —Jean Blanc
9 Looking out at a sea of highway patrol officers, you're wondering if she didn’t feel me. —Leo
10 There’s the old stench of competition in the air and its going to get stinkier as the night goes on. —Leo
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11 I’m a lucky bird and Becca’s a cool chick. —David, the chicken
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12 I just want you to know my feelings are as strong as an ox. —Blake
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13 I play football and I’ve caught a lot of passes in my day, but if I were to land you, you’d by far be the biggest catch of my life. —Clay
14 I hope you’re as good of a catch as they say you are. —Garrett
15 Women. —Chase
16 Let's Do the Damn Thing. —Literally Everybody
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