You're Carrying Too Many Bags
Schlepping is a choice, not a lifestyle—one really only needs a wallet, phone, and keys, so if you habitually lug around three canvas totes, two shopping bags, a purse, and something to read on the train, you're doing it wrong. All this *stuff* is physically hard to juggle, which makes you look the opposite of a poised young woman. ::phlegmy snort::