13 Things You Should Know Before Dating a Woman Who Doesn't Drink

Sober doesn't mean boring.

There was a time in my life when thinking about being sober while dating would have terrified me. In fact, once upon a time, my online dating profile included the line, "If you don't drink, don't message me." Drinking was a necessary part of my dates and my life. But times have changed and I'm now someone who navigates the world as a sober lady. And, it turns out, there are lots of us! If you find yourself interested in dating a woman who doesn't imbibe, here are some things you should know.

If she declines an adult beverage and tells you that she doesn't drink, that should be enough for you. Don't ask if she's sure, don't pressure her, and don't act surprised.

There are lots of reasons that people don't drink, and all of them are personal. When she's ready to tell you hers, she will. Don't push.

I know it might be hard to believe, but it is possible to have fun without drinking! You can dance, you can laugh, you can talk until 3 a.m. And there's nothing uptight about someone who can drop her inhibitions without a drop of alcohol!

Different people feel differently about hanging around people who are drinking when they don't. Don't make assumptions. Ask her how she feels about it and respect her answer.

Nothing's worse than opening a fridge to find that our only choices for something to drink are beer or tap water. If you know she'll be coming over, maybe buy some flavored sparkling water? Sober people love seltzer (seriously, it's a thing).

While drunk sex can be a blast, it's way less fun when one person is drunk and the other is sober. If she turns down your advances when you're sloshed, sleep it off and wait until the morning. And appreciate that she wants you to be fully consenting and present for your hookups.

It is possible to have passionate, wild, toe-curling sex with a woman who's sober. And there's nothing better than knowing that your partner is not only fully consenting but that she will remember every minute of your romp the next day.

Save the drinking for your friends and stay sober(ish) for your hangouts with her.

There are tons of places to go on dates that aren't bars. Be creative and find things to do where drinking doesn't take center stage. See a play, go to a museum, go to a baseball game (you'll save tons of money if you're not spending $9 per beer), take a walk, cook dinner together…the possibilities are endless!

Once you've established that she lays off the booze, try to avoid bringing it up all the time. She's a fully rounded person, and the fact that she's sober is just one thing about her, and chances are, it's one of the least interesting things about her.

This should apply to everyone, but there's nothing more off-putting than a sober lady getting a drunk dial from her boyfriend and hearing a slurred "I love you" for the first time.

Don't act so surprised! Don't ask her, "But what do you do if you don't drink?" Chances are she goes to work, hangs out with friends, bones people, and generally lives life—just like you.

I promise.

Britni de la Cretaz

Britni de la Cretaz is a freelance writer and baseball enthusiast living in Boston. Follow her on Twitter at @britnidlc.