One time I was helping my sister move and we had gotten all the boxes off the truck except for three huge ones. I asked her what was left. She said: "My shoes."
I said: "Yeah, and what else?"
She said: "Yeah, my shoes."
THREE BOXES OF SHOES! (opens in new tab)
I own three pairs of shoes, and I've accepted that women are going to buy tons of shoes (opens in new tab). Here's a thumbs-up/thumbs-down post to help women "edit" their shoe wardrobes (maybe from three boxes down to one box):
Thumbs Up
Simple Flip-Flops
Flip-flops are down-to-earth, promoting a relaxed feel. Regardless of the venue, flip-flops are cute. Coupled with a pedicure, you can do no wrong in flip-flops (opens in new tab).
Retro Heels
I watch enough old movies and read enough history books to be able to tell when a girl is paying homage to a different fashion era. There's something sophisticated about it (opens in new tab), and it's a good change from the norm.
Boots and Booties
As long as they aren't Catwoman plastic stiletto boots, I'm totally into it (opens in new tab). Cowgirl boots are hot, as well as those '80s booties that Madonna used to wear. The skirt-boot combo is my favorite.
Wedges
I'm not into giant wedges that look like hooves, causing a significant percentage of your height to be made up by the wedge. Honey, do you know how many trees died to populate the volume of your giant wedges? But, in the summertime, with a sundress, the proper wedge is sexy (opens in new tab).
Sneakers
I don't care if they are stylishly retro old-school sneakers or just running shoes. It's always a cute look. Like flip-flops, it's hard to go wrong in sneakers.
Thumbs Down
Skinny Toes
You know those shoes that resemble a spade at the end, unnaturally thin, cramming a woman's toes into that shape? They look like torture devices (opens in new tab).
Slutty Heels
Super-high, thin heels don't do it for me. I think it's because I go for "cute" before I go for "sexy." (opens in new tab) Or maybe they are just intimidating. And it's a bit too conspicuous when a girl is running around in giant heels. Not too good for my 5'11" lame height either.
Designer Shoes That Everyone Has
Seems like every girl is running around in those Tory Burch shoes (opens in new tab) that are essentially the Target slipper with a medallion affixed to it that apparently raises the cost of the shoe hundreds of dollars. Sometimes women's fashion gets so trendy that it takes attention away from how it looks. It becomes: "Oh, there's yet another girl with those shoes." Okay, maybe I'm just jealous that I didn't find a way to take a Target slipper and sell it for hundreds more by attaching a medallion to it.
Uggs (Especially Out of Season)
Women sometimes wear Uggs when it's 105 degrees out, which seems a little weird. Uggs are a bit played out too, so they fall under the above category as well.
Heels at Weird Venues
Remember when I went to that soccer game and my date wore heels to the stadium? (opens in new tab) It's awkward when a girl shows up in heels when she shouldn't be in them.
Librarian Flats
Librarian flats rarely look good, but at least they look comfortable.
Clogs
It's hard to look good in clogs. And I can hear you coming from a mile away, like a galloping horse. If I ever visit the Sistine Chapel, Taj Mahal, or any other echoey marble landmark with a girl, there's a no-clogs policy.
Anything Uncomfortable
Some of these shoes create horrible blisters on the heels or just look painful. Women wear them with trusty flip-flops tucked away in their bags. Is it worth the comfort sacrifice to look beautiful? While certain shoes might be hot, it's not so hot when it looks like you're putting yourself through pain to look beautiful (opens in new tab).
I don't think women are dressing to impress guys all the time. Women seem to care more about what other women think, or they dress for themselves. It's not like my opinion matters to 99.9% of the women on this earth (actually, 100% of the women on this earth don't care about my opinion of their shoes), but some shoes can be annoying, and some actually make a girl cuter.
Maybe the real issue at hand here is that I know so much about all these shoes (opens in new tab), but that's another post for another day.
Do you wear shoes to attract guys, or just to look or feel beautiful, or both? Do you care much about a guy's shoes? What shoes do you think are cute, and which ones bother you? Do you agree with my opinion?
Follow me on Twitter: twitter.com/richravens (opens in new tab)
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