Tom Hanks is America's Dad and he fully accepts the responsibility that comes with that title. During his Saturday Night Live monologue, Hanks addressed the country directly to assure us, with dad-like wisdom, that everything is going to be okay in what Vanity Fair reports is his ninth stint hosting the show.
He even dressed the part for his Danny Tanner-esque Dad Talk, donning a cozy sweater that made everyone in America want a Tom Hanks hug (well, we already wanted that, but even more now).
"A magazine cover recently called me 'America's Dad,'" he said, beginning his monologue. "Now, I would've preferred Sexiest Man Alive, but I will take it."
He launched into a fatherly heart-to-heart that addressed some of America's biggest anxieties and legitimately flooded us with collective relief.
"You are gonna be fine," he assured us all. "Remember when you went through that Depression? This is nothing! You're just growing up, and you're in an awkward phase."
Then, Hanks went maximum dad on us and launched into a bit about America's growing pains that will give you flashbacks to all the "your body is changing" talks you endured in middle school.
"You may have noticed that your complexion is changing—you're getting a little darker, and you're freaking out about it. Well, that's natural for a nation of immigrants like yourself. Also, you're a lot gayer than you used to be. That's fleek, whatever that means." Because of course America's Dad has to get in a little jab about the fact that "fleek" is a word that we use now.
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Finally, because he knows we're all feeling more than a little apprehensive about the big decisions we have to make in the next few weeks, Hanks did that very dad thing where he listed off our biggest accomplishments, just to remind us how great we really are.
"You went to the moon. You invented the Internet. You created a cannon that shoots T-shirts," he said. "No matter what happens, I'm proud of you."
BRB, tearing up a little.
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Kayleigh Roberts is a freelance writer and editor with more than 10 years of professional experience. Her byline has appeared in Marie Claire, Cosmopolitan, ELLE, Harper’s Bazaar, The Atlantic, Allure, Entertainment Weekly, MTV, Bustle, Refinery29, Girls’ Life Magazine, Just Jared, and Tiger Beat, among other publications. She's a graduate of the Medill School of Journalism at Northwestern University.
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