

"That's not my name. That's not my name." —the Ting Tings and the following 42 stars, who, for whatever reason, decided to adopt 42 different pseudonyms.

Fergie
In a previous life, she was known as Stacy Ann Ferguson. Then she did the duchess thing.

Ashton Kutcher
Goes by his middle name (from Christopher Ashton Kutcher).

Kelly Rowland
It's "Kelendria Trene Rowland."

Carmen Electra
Much sexier than Tara Leigh Patrick, TBH. (Props to the belated Prince for coming up with the new version.)

Nina Dobrev
Nikolina Konstantinova Dobreva has a certain ring to it, no?

John Legend
It takes balls to go from John Roger Stephens to "Legend," but he did it.

Pink
One name is *always* better than three, even if it's "Alecia Beth Moore."

Blake Lively
Born Blake Ellender Brown, she adopted her mom's last name when she started acting. <3

Lorde
Some of her squad members/friends still call her Ella (Yelich-O'Connor).

Lady Gaga
Meanwhile, though they're no more, ex-fiancé Taylor Kinney definitely called her by her given name Stefani (Joanne Angelina Germanotta).

Reese Witherspoon
To quote a fellow editor: "My fave different name is Reese Witherspoon, because her name is Laura. And it's like, you look way more like a Laura, TBH." (Reese is her second middle name.)

Rihanna
You know about the Fenty part. But did you know her real first name's Robyn?

Theo James
Because "Theodore Peter James Kinnaird Taptiklis" wouldn't fit on a marquee/anything, really.

Rooney Mara
It's actually Patricia.

Lana Del Rey
Elizabeth Grant would not get summertime sadness. Lana Del Rey freaking *invented* summertime sadness.

Miley Cyrus
She legally changed her name to Miley Ray Cyrus from "Destiny Hope."

Kat Dennings
Last name Litwack, first name still Kat (from Katherine).

Jon Stewart
Another one who legally changed his name—from Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz—to what he goes by on stage.

Jay Z
You know this one: Shawn Corey Carter.

Drake
And probably this one, from that GIF of young Aubrey Graham dancing in a tiny vest.

Calvin Harris
Before they were kaput/sworn enemies, Taylor Swift called him by his real name: Adam Richard Wiles.

Mila Kunis
Milena Markovna Kunis sounds pretty too.

Emma Stone
True story: She changed her name to Emma from Emily Jean because of her obsession with the Spice Girls, particularly Baby Spice/Emma Lee Bunton.

Nicki Minaj
Onika Tanya Maraj, which is like an anagram. IS IT AN ANAGRAM?

Bruno Mars
It's Peter Gene Hernandez. But he'll always be Bruno in our hearts.

Iggy Azalea
Amethyst! Amelia! Kelly!

Kim Cattrall
ICYMI, she's British. Which explains the Clare Woodgate.

Brad Pitt
Because William Bradley Pitt sounds like the friend of a friend of a Founding Father.

Marilyn Monroe
No Norma Jean Mortensen for this one.

Diane Keaton
Yup—Diane Hall, like Annie Hall.

Audrey Hepburn
Edda Kathleen van Heemstra Hepburn-Ruston...yeah.

Helen Mirren
Similarly, Ilyena Lydia Mironoff.

Natalie Portman
If we were going by birth names, her Oscar would read "Natalie Hershlag."

Kit Harington
Real name: Christopher Catesby Harington. Awwww.

Lily James
Following the trend of compact, easy-to-pronounce names, hers is Lily Chloe Ninette Thomson.

Demi Moore
Once upon a time, Demetria Guynes married singer Freddy Moore and kept his name after the divorce. A true Hollywood fairytale.

Julianne Moore
Julie Anne stitched her two names together...and emerged an Oscar winner and Tom Ford muse.

Alicia Keys
"Keys" is maybe a little more apt job-wise than "Alicia Augello Cook."

Lucy Hale
Karen, but she goes by a shortened version of her middle name–Lucille.

Olivia Wilde
No relation to Oscar Wilde, except in a literary sense. (She dropped Cockburn in honor of the writers in her family.)

Tina Fey
Funny how Elizabeth Stamatina Fey went on to play a Liz (Lemon).

Katy Perry
Simple: Kate Hudson was already taken.
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Chelsea Peng is a writer and editor who was formerly the assistant editor at MarieClaire.com. She's also worked for The Strategist and Refinery29, and is a graduate of Northwestern University. On her tombstone, she would like a GIF of herself that's better than the one that already exists on the Internet and a free fro-yo machine. Besides frozen dairy products, she's into pirates, carbs, Balzac, and snacking so hard she has to go lie down.
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