The First Lawsuit Against 'Fifty Shades' Is Just as Ridiculous as You'd Expect

Sued over lube.
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Why return a defective tube of lube to your local sex shop for some store credit...when you get lawyers involved? 

That was apparently Tania Warchol's thought process on Thursday, when the California resident filed a complaint against E.L. James and a U.K. erotic toy company for manufacturing a Fifty Shades of Grey-themed lubricant that simply wasn't getting the job done. 

The gel's packaging claims that users will "experience enhanced orgasms and stimulation as every tingle, touch, and vibration intensifies." There's also this TMI quote from the second installment of the Fifty Shades trilogy: "I surrender, exploding around him—a draining, soul-grabbing orgasm that leaves me spent and exhausted." (Anyone have a fan I can borrow?) 

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Warchol bought Fifty Shades of Grey Come Alive Pleasure Gel from an Adam & Eve store in California "on at least two occasions." But upon trying the product (twice?), Warchol's inner goddess just wasn't feeling it. She's requesting that the defendants refund everyone who ever purchased the bland lube, as well as pay punitive damages.

The complaint states that the "Plaintiff believed the Product has powerful aphrodisiac qualities and would increase her sexual pleasure as advertised. The Product did not deliver the purported benefits."

There are a few other less sexy things involved in the suit, as well—including the lube potentially being falsely marketed as a non-FDA approved "aphrodisiac," as well as whether the product is actually latex compatible. When will the madness end?

You should also check out:

Three New 'Fifty Shades' Parodies That Are Probably Better Than the Real Thing

25 Facts About 'Fifty Shades of Grey' That Will Blow Your Mind

Kim Kardashian Reviews 'Fifty Shades of Grey'

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