Not that I keep up on Britney Spears headlines, but I couldn't help but notice that she's considering converting to Judaism because her boyfriend is Jewish. She's welcome to do that if she'd like, but it got me wondering about limits for making sacrifices or changes for the person we love.
When two people are merging different lifestyles, the survival of the relationship depends on their basic compatibility and their ability to compromise. Who should be making the sacrifice?
Do you make changes to your life as a sacrifice for your significant other? Or does your significant other make the sacrifice by putting up with something about you that they don't agree with? Or is it a little bit of both?
Below is a list of core pieces of life that may cause conflict in a relationship. Would you change any of these for someone you love?
I was raised Catholic, but unfortunately, the only part of the religion that I retain is the fact that God hates me and I'm a sinner who deserves to go to Hell. While I am often attracted to Jewish women, and I've even contemplated faking being Jewish before, I don't think I could give up Christmas. I dream to bring a girl home to share the holidays with my family, and I want to celebrate and create amazing Christmas holidays for my children. Holding on to traditions is not a valid reason to be stubborn about changing religions, but those traditions are an important part of my life that I wouldn't want to give up.
Certain careers might demand too much time or energy from someone. If a job requires someone to work late, their significant other may tire of them arriving home at 11PM every night.
My mom just informed me that a friend of our family is moving from Baltimore to Princeton, NJ. But our friend isn't particularly thrilled about moving there; she's moving because her husband works in Princeton. He had been living in Princeton during the week, and returning to Baltimore on the weekends.
Whether two people dream to live in their respective home towns, or a job causes one person to go to a town against their will, conflict might arise as a couple decides where to settle down.
Habits, Vices, and Traditions
There are some habits that should be broken, like smoking or excessive drinking. But if someone nags someone to quit doing something they enjoy doing, it causes tension. People like to make these decisions on their own with the support of a loved one; they don't like being prodded and hounded by that loved one.
Guys develop a lot of traditions in single life — like my annual trip to the beach with my college buddies, or a poker night, or Sunday football gatherings. Girls have their all girls gatherings as well. Usually, these events are helpful because they provide space in a relationship, but there's a chance that a significant other could ask you to tone it down or get rid of these events.
Under most circumstances, it's not fair to demand someone to cut someone out of their lives. But a lot of us have heard that "it's either them or me" ultimatum from a significant other.
The Single Life
Speaking of ultimatums, a lot of relationships die when someone gives the marriage ultimatum. Some people even go so far as to let the other person know that date they expect to be married, and then make good on their promise to end the relationship when that date comes and goes.
In successful relationships, life details fit together like puzzle pieces. Most of the time, conflicts work themselves out before things come to a head, or they destroy the relationship before the relationship gets too serious. If a couple needs these kinds of sacrifices after committing or getting married, then things can get complicated.
Have you ever been in a relationship where you were asked to sacrifice something or someone important to you, or have you ever asked someone to do so? What other things would you add to this list? Would you change anything on this list because your lover asked you to do so? Is it true love if it requires sacrifice?
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