Who Is Your "One That Got Away?"

Do you have "the one that got away?" To qualify, they must have the following two characteristics:

We had to have a chance with them at one point. We either dated this person or knew they wanted to date us. There's some kind of history there beyond just having a crush on someone that didn't know we existed.

The one that got away improves, becoming more attractive after we've blown it or after they are gone. We wouldn't want them back or lament anything if they didn't get even more attractive than they were before, right?


My work friend, Margaret, has a very entertaining one that got away. A while back she was dating this guy who coached football at a nearby college. He was making $11,000 a year (the average rent for a studio apartment in NYC is around $1,800) and living in the basement of the gym. I would ask Margaret about her weekend:

"So how was your night in the basement of the gym?"

Eventually, Margaret grew tired of this guy - basically because she thought he was stupid. But, like most stupid people (I know this because I'm stupid), the guy was very nice and fun so the two stayed in touch and stopped seeing one another with no hard feelings.

Since their little fling, the guy became a football coach at Columbia University. At Columbia he pursued a Masters degree in Physical Education. Because he was considered faculty, he didn't have to pay a dime for the education. Basically, this guy stumbled into a Masters degree at Columbia.

Margaret laments how this guy, who she knows is so dumb, got his Masters at Columbia while she has not even sniffed graduate school. To top it off, the guy told Margaret he was going to write a book granting other dumb young men in waiting with the knowledge of how to get an advanced degree with no effort entitled: "How To Get A Masters Without Ever Buying A Book...Except This One."

Margaret does not miss the guy romantically, but I must say she's a tad frustrated at how he's beaten her academically with no effort.

My one that got away is a girl who graduated the year after me from high school. She is a family friend and started having a crush on me all through middle school. Everyone figured we would eventually date because we had all the same friends and things just seemed to lineup in a way that dictated it would happen some day.

One night when she was in 8th grade and I was in 9th grade, she decided to call me. Unfortunately for her, all of my obnoxious guy friends were over. Here is how the conversation went:

"Hi Rich, it's Annie. I was just calling to say hi."
"Um...OK? Hi?"

(Silence)

"Look, all my buddies are over so can I give you a call back some other time?"

Of course I never called her back.

Annie and I became close friends after that, and she constantly reminded me of that traumatic phone call.

Another thing that happened after 8th grade was Annie got cuter and cuter until I couldn't resist anymore.

In 11th grade, I finally decided to give it a shot with Annie by asking her to the semi-formal. I reached for the phone to call her, but it rang. It was a girl named Amy from my class calling to ask me to semi-formal. I have trouble saying "no", so I accepted. My chance to be with Annie was ended literally as I reached for the phone to call her.

In our history, we sort of came close to kissing on a few occasions. We also spent a lot of nights in beds through high school and college together-as friends...you know the cuddly, wish-you-could-get-the-guts-to-kiss kind of nights.

Annie is now married to a great guy with a beautiful baby and we are still friends. We are both happy in our lives, but she'll always be the one who got away. I was too stupid when I was in 9th grade, unlucky in 11th grade, and too chicken to take a shot after that.

Do you have one that got away? Who is it and what is their story? Are you still able to be friends with them? Did any guys get much better or more attractive after you stopped dating?