Once upon a time, back in 2009, when Miley Cyrus was "Someone Else" and still wore cardigans,
florals, and long blonde wigs,she fell in love with the sexy-as-hell Liam Hemsworth on the set of
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her emotionally-charged movie, The Last Song. She was like, "I Adore You." He was like,
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"We Can't Stop." And she said, "'My Darlin' and they were all about Love Money Party.
(sweeter phrase) (term of endearment) (college priorities)
The romance blossomed and they were seen twerking everywhere together. Before we knew it,
Miley sported a "4x4" rock on her finger. Surprise, the on-and-off lovebirds were engaged! But the
"SMS" messages couldn't lie—there was trouble in paradise. Rumors of Liam cheating on Miley
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with frigid "Bangerz" surfaced. #HARSH.
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Miley slowed down just slightly to push Hannah Montana out of the moving car #TUCKANDROLL and
discovered the short-hair-don't-care phase. Eventually, Liam couldn't handle her "Drive" or her knobby
(Hollywood career momentum)
'do, so the couple split. She was like, "'FU.'". He was like, "'Let Me 'Do My Thang.'" She was like,
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"'Maybe You're Right.' I've got to be 'On My Own.'" And secretly women everywhere had their
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"Hands in the Air," waving 'em like they just didn't care #SINGLEEEEEE.
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Then Miley got naked, twerked all over Robin Thicke's groin, got her head pasted on a turkey
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and said she doesn't pop molly, but rocks Tom Ford.