Without question, the most interesting thing on the internet this week is Kendall Jenner's baffling Pepsi commercial. Is it a lesson in the dangers of overestimating your own cleverness? A message in the "spirit of harmony," whatever that means? That the answer to world peace is not disarmament and electing more women to office, but simply sending Kendall Jenner in with a can of soda? Unclear, but while Twitter tries to find meaning within the memes, we take a closer look at some moments you might've been too distracted to have caught the first time around.
This is a valid extrapolation because we've got footage of him sawing away so vigorously his bow needs to be re-haired. For verisimilitude, Beanie Boy would be more likely to buy his instrument its own seat on a flight than risk damaging it in the jostling of the hordes. (Though he did put a sweaty can of Pepsi™© on his sheet music, so you know this dude cannot be trusted because he doesn't care about anything.)
2. These Girls, Who Are Like, "Ho Hum, We're Just Going to Keep Brunching Through This Protest"
That's some mixed messaging right there that says, "Hey. You can stand up for your rights or not, it's whatever, even though the resistance is literally passing you by—just keep drinking soda."
3. These Other Girls, Who Have Mistaken This Ambiguous Demonstration for Coachella
This is why they hate us.
4. How Kendall Jenner Had Time to Change Her Whole Outfit
The title of this is "Live for Now," not "Live for Just a Minute, I Have to Take My Wig Off and Put on an Entirely Different Ensemble."
5. Why This Protest Has Sponsors
With the bin and ice and everything, like this is a Kardashian birthday party at da clerb.
6. Who Died and Elected Kendall Jenner to Be Chief Ambassador to the Hot Policemen of the World
Surely there were more qualified people in attendance. Maybe that guy who dabbed?
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7. How Kendall Jenner Is Still Alive at the End
Because you know Kris would kill her for walking out on a job.
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Chelsea Peng is a writer and editor who was formerly the assistant editor at MarieClaire.com. She's also worked for The Strategist and Refinery29, and is a graduate of Northwestern University. On her tombstone, she would like a GIF of herself that's better than the one that already exists on the Internet and a free fro-yo machine. Besides frozen dairy products, she's into pirates, carbs, Balzac, and snacking so hard she has to go lie down.
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