12 (Imagined) Screenshots from Beyoncé's (Alleged) Secret Snapchat

Can we get a hand here, WikiLeaks?

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Design by Dana Tepper

Can you file a FOIA for Beyoncé's secret Snapchat that she totally doesn't have, according to Tina Knowles? (Suuuure.) While we wait for the government to send us a curt rejection letter, here's our magnum opus: 12 completely fictional but entirely plausible screenshots in the key of Queen B.

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Getty, design by Dana Tepper

Mood.

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Getty, design by Dana Tepper

You know what you did, Aunt Becky.

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Getty, design by Dana Tepper

Smack it, smack it all the way over to the Big Gulp dispenser.

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Getty, design by Dana Tepper

This cannot be unseen.

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Getty, design by Dana Tepper

He had to take his own chopper home, though.

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Snapchat, design by Dana Tepper

Remember when Usher tried to Snap with Jay Z, and he was like "IDK what this is?"

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Beyonce.com, design by Dana Tepper

BUT WHAT IF HE ACTUALLY DID KNOW?

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Getty, design by Dana Tepper

Look at your life, look at your choices, green ivy.

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Courtesy, design by Dana Tepper

"They don't have pizza [in Houston]," Jay Z once said. "That explains everything."

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Instagram, design by Dana Tepper

The new "North posted this while playing games on my phone."

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Getty, design by Dana Tepper

If you squint, her shoulder pads are totally his paws.

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YouTube, design by Dana Tepper

Still hilarious, 10 years later.

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