12 (Imagined) Screenshots from Beyoncé's (Alleged) Secret Snapchat

Can we get a hand here, WikiLeaks?

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Can you file a FOIA for Beyoncé's secret Snapchat that she totally doesn't have, according to Tina Knowles? (Suuuure.) While we wait for the government to send us a curt rejection letter, here's our magnum opus: 12 completely fictional but entirely plausible screenshots in the key of Queen B.

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1
Getty, design by Dana Tepper

Mood.

2
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You know what you did, Aunt Becky.

3
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Smack it, smack it all the way over to the Big Gulp dispenser.

4
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This cannot be unseen.

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He had to take his own chopper home, though.

6
Getty, design by Dana Tepper

Look at your life, look at your choices, green ivy.

7
Getty, design by Dana Tepper

If you squint, her shoulder pads are totally his paws.

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