• Give a Gift
  • Customer Service
  • Promotions
  • Videos
  • Blogs
  • Win
  • Games

May 9, 2008

Nuptials 911 Cheat Sheet

Your no-fail cheat sheet for how to handle the biggest wedding disasters.

Share
the marie claire wedding survival guide

Photo Credit: Roxanne Lowit

Special Offer

The groom’s a no-show
Wrong move: Loudly run down a list of why you never liked him in the first place and offer to set up the bride with your very available older brother.
Right move: Help usher out the guests as quickly as possible; be on standby with tissues, vodka.

No one is mentioning that the bride is eight months pregnant
Wrong move: Crack a fat joke, pat her belly, and wink at the groom before marveling at her chutzpah for donning a white wedding dress.
Right move: Thanks to Knocked Up, Juno, and those ceaselessly spawning celebs, big-bellied is the new black anyhow. Congratulate! (After you confirm with another guest that the groom is, in fact, the proud baby daddy.)

The bride’s intoxicated ex attempts to make a toast
Wrong move: Start a screaming match with him in front of everyone about how he’s ruining things for her. Just. Like. Always.
Right move: Loop an arm over his shoulder and join in, “Well, Joe, we all have some hi-larious stories. Remember that time . . .” while wrestling the mike from his drunken death grip.


Share
Connect with Marie Claire:
Advertisement
horoscopes
daily giveaway
Go to the Beach

Go to the Beach

enter now
You Know You Want More
More From Sex & Love Advice
14 Signs You Should Ask Him Out

Just stop playing coy and do it.

Your Hottest New Sex Toy? The Internet

A recent Marie Claire/Esquire sex survey revealed that it isn't just men going online for porn — a full 17 percent of American women are now clicking for kicks, as well. It also turns out that one in every four dollars spent on porn — including movies, sex toys, and phone sex — is spent by a woman. Curious what all the loud moaning is about? Check out this short list of reputedly female-friendly sites!

How to Decode and Respond to His Texts

For all those times you're staring at the phone screen wondering what to say.

post a comment

Special Offer
Link Your Marie Claire Account to Facebook
Welcome!

Marie Claire already has an account with this email address. Link your account to use Facebook to sign in to Marie Claire. To insure we protect your account, please fill in your password below.

Forgot Password?

Thanks for Joining

Your information has been saved and an account has been created for you giving you full access to everything marieclaire.com and Hearst Digital Media Network have to offer. To change your username and/or password or complete your profile, click here.

Continue
Your accounts are now linked

You now have full access to everything Marie Claire and Hearst Digital Media Network have to offer. To change your settings or profile, click here.

Continue