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Would You Date a Bisexual Person?

Would You Date a Bisexual Person?

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Old sports:

 

Recently, I received a note through an online dating site from a bisexual man. After looking at his pictures and reading his profile, I wasn't all that interested ... but I will also admit that when I saw he'd listed himself as bisexual, I almost didn't bother looking deeper. Much as I hate to admit it--and despite the fact that I like to think of myself as radically open-minded--I realize I'm slightly prejudiced against men who are actively bisexual. Though I would be more than happy to have a bisexual man as my friend (and I do have one close bisexual female friend), I don't think I'd be able to date a bisexual man.

 

That's not to say I don't understand how two men--even if one or both are "mostly straight"--could be sexually attracted to each other. (No one would think twice about a male masseuse giving physical pleasure to a male client, and what is sex but the natural progression of pleasant touching? Etc.) And I've dated (let's see) three boys who'd kissed a few guys back in the day before deciding that, actually, they preferred women and were going to stick with girls. That didn't bother me.

 

I also think that if it was more culturally acceptable to do so, plenty of us--maybe all of us--would experiment more with our sexuality, rather than leaving most of it to the graduates of Brown and Vassar. (Do you agree?)

 

And yet, despite all this, like I said, I'd have a tough time dating a man who was actively bisexual, mainly because I think it would make me too neurotic. If I had a bi-boyfriend, I think there'd just be too many possible things to fret about. The options for paranoia and jealousy would double if he could potentially be attracted to people of two genders, rather than just one! (I know, I know: Jealousy is silly, and I should either be in a relationship where I don't feel concerned about my partner's affections or I shouldn't be in a relationship at all. But in all honesty, I do sometimes get jealous.) The other thing is that I think I'd feel more psychologically at ease dating someone who thought women in general were the loveliest creatures on earth--and that I was the loveliest of the lovely. 

 

Is all that just good old-fashioned ignorance dressed up in nice words? 

 


 

Then again, this is all in the abstract, and if I met a bisexual male with whom I felt a deep connection, I have a feeling I'd put aside my prejudices. 

 

And yet ... they are prejudices. Prejudgments. Which make me write off bisexual men off before I even meet them. 

 

I think I need to get over this mindset.

 

 

 

xxx!

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