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My Google Baggage

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My Google Baggage

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A few years ago, when a blind date said to me, "Tell me about your great-grandparents," I looked at him quizzically. He shrugged. "I Googled you."

Here's what he likely learned:
1) My great-grandpa was 97 when he broke things off with his 91-year-old third wife-she'd stopped putting out, he said-making him, according to the Guinness Book of World Records, the oldest man ever to get divorced.

2) I cowrote a book called It's Not Me, It's You!, a detailed guide to ending relationships.

3) I wrote an article about cybersex for a popular website that required me to test a dildo that was operated by a stranger via the Internet.

4) I once went on 30 dates in 30 days for a magazine.

5) I've had creepy flirtations with David Copperfield and John Malkovich, both of whom I've written about for newspapers.

Another guy said he would ask me out if he weren't so wary of becoming fodder for my next breakup book. Someone I'd been flirting with on Friendster bombarded me with questions about cyberdildos. Enough, I thought. Love me, not my online profile!

A solution arrived in the form of a young carpenter named Josh. When we sat down for lunch, I laid all my e-baggage on the table, and he was unfazed. A year after Josh moved into my place, I asked him if he had Googled me before we met.

"Sure, but I didn't delve too deep," he said. "I was just embarrassed that you had so many more hits than I did."

Photo by Sami Suni
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