I realized that I worry about far more things than I originally thought. So here are some more fears that guys have, continued from my previous list:
Is this the end? Is there something better out there?
As we get deeper and deeper into relationships, there are those checkpoints where we ask ourselves if we want to keep going. Will we forfeit our chance to meet someone better? Is this the last girl I’ll ever fall in love with? Seems like depressing things to worry about if you’re in a relationship, but do we really always end up with someone who is truly the best person we’ll ever meet and that we are madly in love with?
Did I say something stupid?
If you’ve read my other blog entries, you’ve learned that I’ve said a lot of stupid things. When guys are talking to girls for the first time, they rely on some tried and tested things to talk about, along with a hybrid of topics that are based on what’s going on around them at the time. However, guys wonder if a girl is just being friendly or if she’s really into what he’s saying. I’m an expert at blurting out stupid things.
Does she notice me staring?
I’ve worked very hard to undo my biological tendencies but sometimes I just can’t help but stare. When I see boobs pushed up at the top of a shirt, or from a certain angle, I just stare sometimes, whether it’s a stranger, friend, or romantic interest. I apologize to all women for my occasional lapses in control.
Do I take her home, or ask for her number?
I hate trying to decide this. I’ve talked to a girl for a couple hours in a bar and I have to get her number, knowing she won’t call me back. If I try to see if she wants to come back to my apartment to hang out and up the ante so she’s complelled to call me after our meeting, she might just get angry. It’s a lose-lose situation.
Is there a stallion ex out there?
So what if I finally meet the perfect girl? I’ll feel comfortable trying all sorts of things with her, different positions, locations, etc. But what if none of this compares to the super stallion ex who needed custom made Magnum condoms to even begin to cover his penis and who tied her body into all sorts of amazing knots and who even tried (gulp) anal sex with her from time to time? What if his washboard abs flexed harder and harder every time she stroked them in bed? What if he defined sex for her and gave her orgasms at will? And what if she thinks about him when she masturbates, or is imagining him instead of me when we are having sex? I mean, most men think of women other than their significant others when they masturbate sometimes. Geeze, sometimes love is so un-romantic.
Does she think I’m stalking her?
This one usually creeps up in the early stages just after meeting a girl. If I’m really into her I want to email her at work, talk to her on IM, and text her. But I practice restraint because I need to play it cool and not come off like I’m stalking her. I usually make contact with a girl I’ve just meant once. If she wants to see me, she’d call back right? Do girls make a guy call 2-3 times before she calls him back? Sorry, but I’m so ultra-sensitive to looking like a stalker that I’ll only reach out once after our initial meeting. They say “persistence pays”, but there’s a fine line between trying until you win someone over, and stalking them...right?
Whenever you get nervous—just realize that we are worrying too. We want you to like us, and be happy with us.
You often read about my stupidity and cluelessness, but sometimes I want to try to help you while I’m asking for advice.
What are your thoughts on these things I’ve listed? And, do you think you’ll feel more confident with guys if you can convince yourself that we worry as much as girls do in the dating world?