Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom Fail Magnificently at Pretending They're Not a Couple

Nice try, you two…

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Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom, a couple not bothered by any "dumb conspiracy," took a break from making out in Cannes to attend yesterday's amfAR Gala together…sort of. They were seated at separate tables, coincidentally right next to the other's. Katy and Orly tried very hard to play it cool for the photographers. Tried, but the heart wants what it wants. Below, their struggle...and thoughts:

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Katy: "Play it cool, Katy, play it cool. Pretend he's not even there. You don't even notice him sitting looking all inquisitive and interested and adorable."

Orlando: "Heeey..."

Katy: "NOPE, NOPE, don't even see you in my PERIPHERAL vision!"

Katy: "Let me just text Orlando instead."

Orlando: "Don't look back, don't look back, don't look back..."

*buzz*

Orlando: "Look how cool we're playing it. We're definitely not attracting any attention."

Katy: "This is miserable."

Katy: "Fuck it."

we cannes't

A post shared by KATY PERRY (@katyperry) on

The next day, on Katy's Instagram: "we cannes't"

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