Somewhere out there, there is a proactive young man adding "bury me in my Yeezys" to his funeral arrangements. Goodness only knows how many revisions he'll go through before he actually kicks the bucket wearing self-lacing Nike hoverboards, but for the present, we're fairly certain these are the footwear trends that will define our time. Ahead, see the year in 21 of the most-wanted kinds of shoes.
Like me in grade school but without the frightening overnight changes in hair and complexion, boots this year stretched out to the knee or higher, thanks largely in part to Balenciaga and Vetements, pictured here. Hard to get on, but easy to go out not wearing pants, as many celebrities showed.
Shop similar: Nasty Gal, $120
Shop similar: Marni, $980
Shop similar: Proenza Schouler, $995
The sociopolitical climate may be dark, but the rhinestones on our shoes shine bright like the diamonds we definitely can't afford, along with any sort of property. Not that that is a problem for Kendall Jenner, who wore these $10K Saint Laurent boots, but for the rest of us, there's always the high street.
Shop similar: Topshop, $170
Marco de Vincenzo
Shop similar: ASOS, $64
Oscar de la Renta
If you've stepped foot outside your front door at all this year (or looked suspiciously out the peephole when you heard footsteps), you will know that mules are It. (A bit less so now that you'd have to layer them with socks, because that's dangerously slippy.) But don't fear—when it's 2018 and warm again, these Tibis and their ilk will be back.
Shop similar: Tibi, $465
Fenty x Puma
Shop similar: Calvin Klein, $1,295
"Dad, I'm confused." "Hi, Confused." The unofficial footwear of icy blonde Scandinavian bloggers and Internet-famous kids who post purposefully ugly photos, the generic-looking but highly expensive sneakers have come to prominence against all odds. It is what is is, and these are Louis Vuitton.