What Cancer Taught Me About Girls

A few months after I

graduated from college, I was diagnosed with testicular cancer. Upon reflecting on the experience, I

realize it may be no coincidence that the time right after my treatment was my

most successful time with girls.

On the surface, it shouldn't

have been this way. After

chemotherapy, I looked really bad with no hair. My head was too small, my eyebrows were too big

(unfortunately, they didn't fall out). I didn't look too frail, but I was probably pretty pale.

It was with this look that

I proceeded to make out and connect with three of the most attractive girls

I've ever been with.

One of them drove down

from NY to Baltimore, had sex with me and stopped talking to me.

Then, I met a cute blonde

at a friend's party and complained the whole time about the one who had had sex

with me and stopped talking to me. I thought the night was over when I left. But I got calls from her as I was laying down to sleep, so I

borrowed my friend's car, drove half-asleep back to the house and ended up doing

everything with her but sex (because we couldn't find a condom—funny how

suddenly safety dawned on me after falling asleep at the wheel on the way

there). Needless to say my friend

was extremely disappointed after I returned without having sex. But at least his car was in one piece.

Finally, this girl I had

had a crush on forever drove down from NY and we made out—and then she
stopped talking to me. This girl drove me a bit insane as I hatched this really

lame plan to send her homemade black bottoms on her birthday only to be saved

by an alert co-worker who I had been confiding in.

So, as usual, nothing

turned out well. But in

retrospect, I have formulated theories on how I was so successful at that one

point in my life. It has to do

with the sensuality of women. Guys

are very visual. They judge

quickly based on appearance. Girls

have another sense—sort of a sensuality where they can be attracted to a guy

because of intangible traits. My

theories on what the girls were tapping into:

1. Having just "beaten" cancer, my body,

mind, and spirit were giving off senses of strength and healing. Strong positive vibes like this can be

very attractive.

2. I finally reached that point of not

caring. Having been faced with the

idea of dying of cancer, what women said or did didn't matter. This made me appear more confident—and

we all love confidence.

3. Again, facing a life-threatening

disease made me more apt to seize the moment and go for it. I'm not usually aggressive with girls,

but perhaps the cancer experience made me realize that every day and chance is

precious and I should just go for it.

4. Maybe because I was in my early 20's, I

was the beneficiary of a lot of making out because, quite honestly, that's what

people in their early 20's do?

5. The sympathy play. Perhaps these girls felt sorry for me

because of what I had gone through and it made them want to be close to me and

nurture me.

Whatever the case, I no

longer have any of that going on. I'm not going to sit here and say I wish I could go through cancer

treatment again so I could experience success with a lot of girls, but I do

wish I could get back to reasons 1-3 mentioned above.

Maybe dieting/fitness can

get me a little bit of number 1, and 2, and 3 require living a positive and

well-rounded life so I don't get fixated on a girl and so that I can worry more

about the big picture.

But I'll have to get out

from in front of the TV first.

What do you think is the

reason I happened to be successful at that time? Is it a combination of all those reasons, or was it just

coincidence? Do you go for guys that display traits in reasons 1-3, or even out

of sympathy at first?