Spending 45 Minutes in a Crystal Light Therapy Bed Is Like Xanax but Better

I'm addicted.

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As marathoning The Hills taught us many times over, Spencer Pratt isn't exactly a model citizen. Taking a page out of his book is inherently suspect—but when the going got tough i.e. there were five planets including Mercury in retrograde, I was stressed to a clinical degree, and suffering the most horrific PMS of my life, I finally gave into hype surrounding the crystal light therapy he loves so much. My sensei? Holistic doctor, healer, and fertility specialist Dr. Julie Von at Clinic in NYC.

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Prior to my treatment, Dr. Von and I talked about what was ailing me both emotionally and physically: I was emotionally fried from turbulence in my personal life, had barely slept in days, and suffering daily tension headaches due to teeth grinding. In short, I wasn't functioning, and Dr. Von clued me into the fact that I was living day-to-day like a slow, low-voltage short circuit fuse that could blow up in any moment.

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After performing acupuncture on me, Von put me in a crystal light therapy bed, which had 7 Vogel cut quartz crystals designed to align with specific chakras on my body. There were also rainbow-like lights with a different color to match the vibrational frequencies of each respective chakra. So there I was, bathing in prismatic light...

"The highly refined quartz crystals energetically clear and enhance the energy of the body," Von explained to me. "When each crystal is enhanced with light that corresponds to the color associated with the chakra, the crystals become even more targeted at delivering their energetic property." So at the end of the treatment, my chakras would hopefully be harmonized, allowing my natural healing mechanisms to function.

Real talk: I would be lying if I told you I achieved instant nirvana. But during the 45-minute treatment, my overstimulated brain started to churn at a less rapid pace. I even dozed off for a few minutes! Dr. Von had warned me that I would feel out of it—and she was right in the best way possible. I was so relaxed I practically floated out of the office. As someone who is hyper-aware of all things, at all times, I was blissfully out of it. It was like natural Xanax. And this feeling of sedation lasted all evening, too. I literally fell into sleep, which is something that *never* happens. Over the next few days, my nervous system felt like it had found its groove and I was palpably less stressed.

As for using acupuncture and crystal light therapy in tandem, it's all part of Dr. Von's methodical approach to wellness. "I use multiple methods to help people settle into a deeper parasympathetic nervous system mode," she says. "I find that the more that we work with the other senses—smell, feel, sound, etc.—and give the eyes a true rest, the easier it is to downshift into true relaxation." And downshift really is the word, as it's taken two whole weeks for me to see an uptick in my anxiety. So naturally it's time to make like Pratt and get my chakras in check.

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