I have a confession to make: I am not cute when I go to sleep. I’ll own up to this with full acknowledgement that I have lived with boyfriends who have seen me in my full, ugly-to-bed glory. And when my car needs to be moved for alternate side parking day, I roll out of bed at the crack of dawn, looking fifty shades of rough for all my neighbors to witness. I do. not. care. Why? Because the things I do at night, all of which leave me hitting the pillow looking like a gremlin, ultimately result in softer, smoother, brighter skin; with teeth that are straight (I spent a lot of time with Invisalign and I’m not wasting the investment) and second-day hair that is barely in need of a touch up. I know that TikTok has gotten a hold of the “go to bed ugly” trend, but baby, I’ve been committed to this lifestyle since I was 16 years old. It’s me and my ratty concert tees—and oodles of skincare—against the world.
Don’t get me wrong, I admire anyone who wishes to tuck in looking like a Disney princess—props to you, my dears. But my skin and hair aren’t exactly low-maintenance, nor are my standards, so I’d much rather throw my vanity out the window when I’m sleeping and wake up feeling and looking better than the previous eight hours (after the requisite morning shed, of course). Again, even if you live with somebody who you hope finds you attractive and desirable, fear not—the good ones will understand. Also, who cares!? You’re asleep. Let your products do the work while you get some much-deserved shut-eye.
Slug It Up
Since my skin is so dry and I use retinol five nights a week, I swear by a thick layer of an occlusive balm or cream to lock in moisture. Use it over an emollient moisturizer to attract hydration to the skin first.
I adore this product so much I think I’ve gone through five tubs already. It actually stays where you apply it, even as you sleep, and it’s never broken me out, despite how rich it is.
The OG, can’t-be-beat, never fails me formula is now in a handy stick form. I swipe this over my face and neck before bed until I’m shiny enough to crack a camera lens or two.
Embrace Pimple Paste
I’ve been struggling with breakouts this summer, and nothing banishes a pimple faster than an overnight pimple paste. Think of it as the grown-up version of using toothpaste on a zit.
No breakout can withstand a night underneath this gray goo. The combo of clay, sulfur, willowbark, and azelaic acid shrinks any sign of inflammation while you sleep.
This pink paste is a cult-classic for a reason, my friends. Dip a cotton bud in the bottle and dab it onto your breakout for a fast-acting overnight treatment.
Show Your Scalp Some Love
Hair regrowth serums are all the rage right now, but they sadly don’t always help your hair look its best. I like to slather my scalp in my go-to formulas and then shower in the morning—because no one cares what your hair looks like while you sleep.
This award-winning serum has been a longtime favorite to help restore my hairline after a 2022 bout of COVID, and I’m so happy to say that I actually see results. I soak my scalp with the plastic syringe overnight (add in a scalp massage to apply) and then rinse in the morning with my usual shampoo routine.
Marie Claire Senior Beauty Editor Sam Holender convinced me to try this serum after she regrew three inches of hair in one summer, and I have to say, I am impressed with my results. I massage this in before bed until my hair looks delightfully greasy.
Would you know that I've been snoozing with my kitty, Norman?
Brush It Out
I have wavy type 2B hair—I do not brush my hair unless I want it to become a fluffy, frizzy mess. Or because I’m going to bed after applying my growth serums and I know I’m going to shower and wash my hair in the morning. A nice brush will distribute the oils, detangle, and give me a nice relaxing massage before winding down for the night.
Pricey? Yes. Stunning and so lovely on the hair to detangle and massage your scalp? Absolutely. I simply adore this Parisian brand.
This brand has been a go-to for years, especially when my curls and waves are being unruly. The price and quality also cannot be beat.
Cut the Grind
I’m an anxious enough person during the daytime but apparently, I also incessantly grind my teeth at night as well. My dentist basically told me that if I don’t start wearing a night guard, I’ll need to cap my molars in a few years—no thank you. So I never go to sleep without one. Sexy, I know.
A custom night guard is essential after you’ve had orthodontia to help keep your teeth in alignment. This service is a fraction of the price compared to going to a cosmetic dentist.
I get it—shelling out a ton of money on a night guard isn’t very chic. But I swear, your dentist and your jaw will thank you for doing so. Look to this affordable option to spare your molars and ease the tension on your masseter muscles.
Hydration From Head to Toe
Your hands and feet take a beating from your lifestyle and the elements, so use the time when you’re horizontal to slather them in some nourishing moisture. An overnight mask (bonus points if you throw on some cotton socks as well) is the fastest way to wake up with super soft skin.
I cannot get enough of this deeply moisturizing formula. It’s thick but in a silky, whipped type of way, and my skin just drinks it up with glee.
Cica is one of the most calming and soothing skincare ingredients on the market, which is why I love to slather on this balm-like cream to repair cracked hands and feet. Don’t skimp with this one!
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