"Kiss-proof" used to be the standard, but we're introducing a new, much more realistic (har har) metric by which to judge long-wear lipsticks: The Pizza Test. ::fanfare:: Here, see what happened when five of the most resilient formulas on the market went head to head with a slice—or 10.
In Muse, $8, walmart.com.
Kaitlin Menza, contributing editor
"I loved the bright color of this lipstick, though it had that slightly dry quality of a lot of long-wear lipsticks. It would need lip balm or gloss for regular wear, but for eating, it was perfect! The coverage was the exact same before and after, and the color didn't migrate to my chin like it usually does."
In Ruby Murray, $18, nordstrom.com.
Lori Keong, assistant editor
"Normally, the only lipstick enemy I have to deal with is the lid of my coffee cup, so the pizza premise was kind of out of the ordinary. By the time I was done with my slice the color had started smudging and fading at the edges a little, but again—out of the ordinary. Plus I love the raspberry color."
In Shocking, $34.50, sephora.com.
Chelsea Peng, assistant editor
"Clearly, I haven't had gluten in ages (I know), which is why I turned my back on the tenets of the scientific method to double-fist pizza. Bad for my digestion, but surprisingly good for my lipstick, which stayed pretty well put considering how much grease there was."
In Black Dahlia, $16, nordstrom.com.
Lauren Valenti, associate editor
"In retrospect, I shouldn't have been so daring as to choose a blackish-purple lip (too stressful), but I will say I was impressed with how well it held up considering its super-deep pigment and glossy finish." [Editor's note: Lauren discovered that the flour from the crust acted as powder to set the liquid lipstick. #pizzahack]
In Chianti, $24, sephora.com.
Samantha Leal, senior editor
"The Stila Stay All Day Lipstick is pretty good. Look, I'm not expecting my lips to look completely untouched after I inhale pizza (#GoHardorGoHome) but it did stay on for the most part, and the color is dope (though maybe if attending an event/party/social somethin' somethin' where you'll be scarfing down pizza, go for a more subtle color?). It's not as drying as many long-wear lipsticks, but you definitely do need to moisturize before you put it on. That being said, if you're sad about how it's looking, just eat more pizza. It makes you happy. And happy people don't hate their lipsticks. They just don't."