When it comes to the most intimate moments of a wedding day, photographers are there. They witness the bride's final minutes getting ready, the couple's first time seeing each other, and their exhausted limo ride home from the reception. But sometimes that means witnessing some not-so-great instances—like constant bickering. Thanks to Mirror, here are things wedding photographers say are signs a couple hasn't actually found their happily ever after.
1. When the couple lacks an emotional connection.
"We spend 8, 10, 12, or more hours in a day looking at the bride and groom through a frame that isolates them alone and together, largely stripping away the broader context and focusing on their interactions," says Reddit user SuccessiveApprox. "We are looking specifically for moments of contact, of intimacy, of emotional connection. It pretty quickly becomes evident when those things are there, and when they are not."
2. When the groom admits to his own concerns.
"I went to the bathroom at one [wedding] and the husband was washing his hands next to me and I made some compliment about how things had come together and joked that it must be a good sign for the future," a Reddit user says. "He, in a very very apathetic tone said, 'Well, we'll see how we do' and walked out."
3. When the bride refuses to kiss the groom in photos.
"My very first wedding was a couple who was getting married by the art museum in Philly. I had my friend whose been a wedding photographer for 10 years with me to show me the ropes after doing a lot of second shooting with him," says Reddit user CoLmes. "So he poses a kissing shot of the couple, and when he asks them to kiss the bride goes 'oh, no, no thank you' in this weird little mousey voice."
4. When the bride and groom don't interact during the reception.
"One couple worried me, because the bride was a tense wreck during the whole ceremony and reception to the point that I didn't get many useable pictures of her because she looked so stressed out and unhappy," a Reddit user says. "Meanwhile the groom was with his friends having a great time, but not helping her with anything or responding at all to her panic."
5. When the couple focuses on the wedding—not the marriage.
"We spend a lot of time listening to the language they use in pre-meetings, engagement shoots, on the wedding day and it becomes pretty clear in a short time what the focus is," says Reddit user SuccessiveApprox. "Many couples, particularly young couples, pretty clearly have in mind a wedding but have put little thought and planning into a marriage."
6. When the bride hits on the photographer.
"When I first got started I assisted for a photographer who was a good looking fella," says Reddit user deweysizemore. "During the reception the bride told him they were going to have an open marriage and basically offered herself up to him, which he politely declined."
7. When the couple takes the cake cutting too seriously.
"Every once in a while someone will retaliate, which is a bad sign," says Reddit user 2Dprinter. "I think it's indicative of the sort of contempt which will doom the relationship. Even if you don't want that fondant on your face, you need to be able to laugh it off and have a good time."
8. When the speeches from friends and family aren't positive.
"What people who give speeches say about the person their friend/relative is marrying is a huge giveaway," says Reddit user 2Dprinter. "I've heard some truly heartfelt, touching words shared during toasts... and have heard others that were seriously underwhelming. If it isn't easy for you to think of why this person is a good match for your friend, that's a bad sign."
9. When the couple can't stop bickering.
"I wonder about the brides and grooms who make snarky remarks during the day," says Reddit user eatcheeseordie. "If I only know you for eight hours, but I know you're upset your new spouse didn't let you plan any of the wedding, then I'm not sure you have your priorities straight."
10. When the groom has sexual tension with someone other than the bride.
"There are many other little things that factor in," says Reddit user SuccessiveApprox. "Like once when there was more sexual tension between the groom and the best man than between the groom and the bride."
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