I went to a party the other night thrown by my writer-friend Elizabeth Kadetsky. I was hanging out by the food table, stuffing my face full of dates--which are my favorite fruits of all time--and talking to a girl named Molly about how she lost her sense of smell in a car accident (true story) when I looked across the room, and who to my wondering eyes did (seem to) appear? James Mercer! Yes! The insomniacial lead singer of The Shins--one of the top three indie-rock bands of the last decade or two! (The others being Belle + Sebastian and Arcade Fire, of course.)
I grabbed a few dates for the road, excused myself from Molly, and marched over--high on fructose. And before I knew what I was doing, I said, "If you're who I think you are, I'm interested in bearing your love child."
The dude laughed. "Who do you think I am?" he said.
As it turned out, he wasn't James Mercer--just another struggling writer like the rest of us. And maybe that was a good thing. I'm not sure I would really be ready to have a kid at this point in my life, after all.
One flirtation lesson learned: Asking someone if he's a member of your favorite indie-rock band isn't a bad technique. You couldn't exactly go up and ask someone if he was, like, Ashton Kutcher or Kayne, because of course dudes like that aren't going to be at some random party your friend is throwing, with people drinking wine out of Solo cups and eating cheese doodles and doing keg stands while someone yells "I think she's going to puke!" (Eliz's party was more elegant than that, but you catch my drift.) With indie rockers, on the other hand, there's more of a chance they might just show up. (For instance, I've randomly met guys from the indie bands Rogue Wave and the French Kicks at parties in New York.)
Plus, you don't come off like you're totally flirting (or ass-kissing) when you suggest someone looks like an indie-rocker. It's not the same as being like, "Hey, has anyone ever said you bear a striking resemblance to Cary Grant?" It's more like saying, "Hey, wow, dude, you kind of look like the bartender from this dive bar in Williamsburg."
Anyway ... as some of you have probably started to notice, I'm a big fan of indie-rock; therefore, I also also have my fair share of crushes on indie-rock boys. A big part of why I get enamoured of these dudes is because they make music that has me rocking out, or feeling like, "Some other human being has feelings like mine--and they can actually translate those emotions in music." But I guess I also feel hot for these guys because they're semi-famous, yes, but maybe also somewhat real, human and accessible. Like, maybe I could actually meet one of these dudes one day ... and we could live indie-rockily ever after! You know what I mean?
My top crushes (this week):
-Bon Iver, a.k.a Juston Vernon. His music just kills me. And if you've ever listened to his album "For Emma," you know this guy has has his heart broken. So he'd never break mine ... right?
-David Barnes, lead singer from "Of Montreal"--despite the fact he has a wife--because he is just a mad, mad genius. Look at this video, and you'll see what I mean.
-The lead guitarist (blond guy) from Cake, just because I was watching him ROCK OUT doing some live version of their cover of "I Will Survive." Sheesh. I'm getting sweaty just sitting here.
-But maybe my number one indie-rock crush is on The Whitest Boy Alive, a.ka. Erlend Oye, the lead singer of Kings of Convenience. Watch this video, for their dance-along song "I Only Want to Dance With You" and see if you can resist him.
Who's YOUR number-one indie-rock (or indie-film) crush? (Also, if anyone has a connection to Erlend ... hook a girl up, will ya?)
(ps ... if you've read this far ... my other huge indie-rock crush is on Spencer Krug, of Sunset Rubdown and Wolf Parade. And for whatever reason, he's the one I think I have the best chance with ... Spencer, are you reading this? Hello?)